Assessment Weekend – Part 1

I wasn’t looking forward to my Assessment down at Mistress Carol’s – I never do.  As Mick, I like Carol and Kerri/ Kevin a lot, as billie I have a very, very, healthy respect for Mistress Carol and billie is “very” fond of kerri.

So it was with quite a bit of trepidation that I got ready to leave on the Wednesday Morning.  Mistress Carol doesn’t allow sissies to be in the house in male attire and directed in her “invite” that I was to travel to her en-fem.

Now I just want to explain a little about me, and this also has relevance for what happened at the Hotel on the Saturday – I don’t look female, feminine or girly, it takes a lot of effort and work to get me to 75% passible but that last 25% aint happening – I’m 5’6” tall, 42” chest with short legs but big calves.  (I spent my early working life on Building sites and also doing a good bit of cross country running in my spare time as a hobby), my body type falls in the category of “Stocky” not dainty.

So I can get so far, I’ve dressed with stockings, matching suspender belt, knickers and bra.  A set of foam breast forms, and 3” heels, a white blouse and blue pencil skirt.  I have 2 wigs, both cheap and cheerful – a short black bob and a slightly longer brown thing – I chose the longer one as it would hide more of my face and head on the journey.

Normally my makeup is nil to basic, Madam wants it to be clear that I am a submissive male in female apparel but for this trip and stay there is more required.  I can do a bit of make up but there is a fine line with not trying to look like an “Aunt Sally”, for the youngsters out there search for “Wurzle Gummage”.

aunt sally

Madam helped me with the finer points and once she was happy I was given a peck on the cheek and told “Make me proud of my sissy.” And with that I was walked to my car and sent on my way.

The journey went rather well, traffic wasn’t too bad and there didn’t appear to be anyone pointing or laughing (as far as I was aware) as they went past me buzzing along in my car. 

I started to get a bit of butterflies as I dropped onto the M4 for the short section on the Motorway, I was nearly there.  I know what’s coming; I have done this twice a year for about 12 years.  I will be Mistress Carol’s property and slave for the next 3 days, I will be worked (I don’t mind that) I will be used (that can be fun – sometimes), punished (not fun) and humiliated (very uncomfortable).  The difference is that no two visits/ assessments are the same, there are always new trials and tests, the punishments change and the humiliations are designed to get a reaction. 

I know that there will not be any harm to me (well my arse will recover from the punishments) and the humiliations will be in a controlled and safe environment  but it still comes with nervousness for the unknown and no small amount of fear.

Once I arrive I am met at the front door by Mistress Carol and invited in.  kerri is at work and I sit with Mistress in the lounge and we have a chat. 

“How was the drive?”

“How is Alice?”

“how are things with work” etc and then we get to the main part:

“How are you? Physically? Mentally?”, Mistress Carol is very aware to how our FLR started and also with my Mental Health, she knows that the FLR is part of what helps me to control what was my problem and it is that expertise from her having been a Professional Dominatrix and on the D/s scene that she understands that it is important to know where the submissive’s head/ mind is prior to starting the session. 

Please just bear this in mind Mistress Carol is a friend to Madam and billie and to Alice and Mick. While she can scare the hell out of billie at times, she also cares for her friend’s submissive as well. So she needs to know what the baseline state is before she starts the “session”, it allows her to adjust her plans to ensure that it is just right for the Mistress and the submissive.  

Once she is happy I’m dismissed to get my bags from the car and get ready.  I will be staying in kerri’s room which is in the little “granny flat” above the garage.  This is good as it means that I’m not having to stay in the “play room”, I’m with kerri, but we will be sharing a bed – this isn’t a bad thing but it is a bed that is ¾ size of a double, which 2 people can sleep in but you are very close together and when you are both caged in chastity and you both like each other that is bloody frustrating!

My first day involved domestic duties, kitchen service and several inspections of uniform at random times.  This involved me in my working maids uniform  and Mistress is always ready with her snap inspections –  the only difference is that Mistress Carol issues punishment at the time, as well as noting some punishments for later in the day – by 6pm when kerri arrived home from work my arse had already been “warmed” several times and I had renewed my dislike of Mistress’s hair brush. 

After a quick cuddle from kerri I was ordered to change into my dress uniform and then to Mistress’s bedroom where I was tested on my personal service. 


I really enjoy orally serving Madam and I hoped to please Mistress Carol.  My service to her lasted about an hour and I she seemed pleased,  Mistress’s only point and it cost me several marks with the riding crop was that I still did not have a tongue piercing – it is a “failing on my part” every year as Mistress Carol would like Madam to have me pierced in several places, she now feels that it should be me that begs Madam to have her submissive’s body added to with several piercings.  Madam is, at the moment, content that I do not required any added jewellery (thankfully).


The rest of the evening is spent helping kerri as a maid for Mistress – cooking, serving dinner, cleaning up and then being on call for Mistress.  I am dismissed at 9.30pm and go to kerri’s room to get ready for the following day and to go to bed. At about 11.30 I was joined by kerri in bed and spend a lovely but frustrating evening cuddling with my sissy friend and then to sleep.

Thursday started with much of the same as the Wednesday, inspections, domestic work, change outfits, inspections etc but at lunch I was informed that Mistress would have be having guests later this afternoon for tea, I should change into my formal maid outfit (the new dress,) and be prepared to serve tea but I should also have several bottles of wine in to chill.

At about 3pm I was in full sissy French maid outfit, with its short skirt, exposed stocking tops and 4½ heels.  The door bell went and I knew that this was the start of it (well if it wasn’t then the post man would be in for a surprise). I welcomed 3 guests to Mistress’s home, 2 ladies and 1 gentleman, I recognised the ladies, having encountered them on previous visits but the gentleman was unknown to me.  The ladies were from the D/s scene and definitely Mistresses, while the man was not imposing as you would expect from a Dom, he seemed slightly out of place but didn’t seem bothered by the sissy French maid that answered the door and showed him into the lounge.

I served tea to the Mistresses and their male guest and was sent to the corner (facing the wall) while they chatted about quite a few different things and about me at time.  I was brought back into service and sent for wine.  Once everyone  had a glass is was told to wait by the end of the couch next to the gentleman.  As the conversation continue I suddenly felt a hand on the back of my leg, I slightly flinched with surprise (that cost me 3 with the crop later that evening) but the hand stayed there and then started to gently rub up and down my leg and stockings. I stayed in position as I was being touched up while everyone just had a general conversation.


The conversation then got round to me, the new maid, at this point the guest had his hand fully under my skirt and was running his hand over my knickers and arse.

“Is this your’s and Danny’s new toy?  You haven’t gotten rid of kerri have you?”

“Is it broken in?”

“Whats its oral skills like?”

Yes this is the first humiliation task, I’m an “it”, I’m the sissy slave, I’m being discussed as if I’m not in the room while at the same time being touched up and fondled, all from the casual comfort of the couch.

The worry that I had was that I don’t know who this guy is and it almost seems that he is about to ask Mistress to have “it” serve him personally.  I must have looked worried as he started to ask if he and his boyfriend could borrow me for an evening – if I didn’t look worried I was certainly was inside – as it almost sounded like Mistress Carol was seriously considering his request!  I was told to go and get another bottle of wine and freed myself from the roving hand and almost ran to the kitchen to get the bottle.  I came back to the room to catch the end of the conversation that effectively had Mistress agree that I could be “Borrowed” for the evening.

I was mortified, this was not what I expected and it certainly wasn’t in the limits that were agreed between all of us (Madam, Mistress, Master, Danny, Kerri and me).  I didn’t know what to do, should I comply, should I use the safe word – in all the time of our FLR I have never had to use the safe word. 

My face must have been a picture of emotional panic as the Mistresses all burst out laughing.  Mistress Carol told me to put the wine down and told me to kneel and calm down.  No I wasn’t going to be “loaned out”, they wanted to see what my reaction would be to come back to a dilemma such as this.  To see my humiliations and discomfort.  Mistress rightly saw the panic and called a halt to the session ( the original plan was to get me as far as the gentleman’s car before calling me back).  Mistress called me forward and kissed my forehead and told me not to worry my task was over and our limits would not be broken, no matter what.  I think I was close to tears of relief!


Mistress Carol always finds innovative ways to create conflicts with emotions and can play them to perfection, her experience of the scene and with submissives means that she is the master/ mistress of her craft.

That evening it was a very grateful submissive that provided Mistress with personal service.  I still had my safe word and I was glad that Mistress knew how to read me.

I’ll stop here and Finish in another post later. (you can probably see why I have trepidation and a bit of fear of my assessment visits).



Read the Large Print before the small print (and don’t be a Dick!)

Last Thursday was an interesting day, I had an early start into London for a meeting with a client, the plan was in for a 2 hour meeting and then be back home by 1pm.

The client is a department head of large financial company that has been getting some construction work done by a small construction company. The work isn’t difficult and they has used a standard industry contract.

The difficultly has come from the fact that the client has asked for additional work and the contractor has been fine with that but he would like paying for the extra work – which seems fair.

My client (the client) brought me in because he didn’t trust his contracting team – the problem is that this individual that heads up the contract depart is used to being in the Finance world and firmly believes that if you have the money you have the power – Arsehole!

I was asked to provide a report and recommendations, and the recommendation was “pay the contractor”. This apparently agreed with the contract team’s advice but the Client was kind of pissed off that everyone was giving him “good” advice but it wasn’t what he wanted.

Having spoken to the in house contract team the Client is one of these “Hard Nosed Don’t Fuck With Me” types who has become used to getting his own way when it comes to setting contracts for financial services. It’s a big company and they are probably used to getting their own way.

The problem is that they don’t do construction and they have used a normal construction contract and this “Hard Nosed” Dick doesn’t realise that while he carries a big stick in his contracting pond, the building contractor doesn’t give a fuck who he is, he just wants his money for his work. And the client thinks that he can flex his muscles in an area that he knows very little about.


So what is the point of this ramble – The client mistook the builder’s willingness to take on work and can do attitude as a weakness and submission to the bigger Organisation with all of it’s power and money. Clearly the client has no idea of how relationships in contracts and the D/s world work. The Dominant doesn’t always carry all of the power and at times the submissive holds the cards.

It was a bit of a shock for this Arsehole – he wasn’t the top dog, he was just a Bully and I don’t like bullies, and his poor attitude cost his company quite a bit of money.

So having put this Dick right about the realities of the Construction world, and after he tried to bully me into changing my report – at this point my inner “Arsehole Alpha” Contracts Manager came to the fore and we had a rather heated discussion which was pretty much a one way conversation which slightly shocked this idiot.


The end result was that the client had to bring in his boss and the realities were explained, the client looked a bit shame faced and is now probably working in the company’s call centre in Mumbai (oh I do hope so!) – all for the sake of a few thousand pounds, it had cost them just as much for my work.


At this point my 2 hour meeting has lasted all day, and the Arsehole Mick has been unleashed and was back on form. I called Alice and explained what had happened. Just listening to her voice started to settle me down, I didn’t want to go home at that point, I was going to get a room at a Travelodge for the evening and let myself calm down and let the calm Mick take over so that I could get home and keep the Arsehole away from the peace of the house.

With a quiet voice, Alice simply said “Come home, I’ll have a glass of wine ready for you, you’ll be fine….” And with that the Arsehole turned and went back into his box, by the time I got home Alice was waiting and we made sure that her Mick was back where he needed to be. I’m so lucky to have a fantastically wonderful wife and a very understanding Mistress (but I still don’t like or tolerate bullies!)


Uniforms and Work Wear – The new office attire.

With Madam and Sir having seen my new maids uniform they intended to see what I had purchased as an occasional working outfit for the office. Madam had directed me to update my outfit and to be honest I had expected this to happen some time ago.

Madam and I had spoken about it on a number of occasions, for each day I was away in male clothes I would do 5 days in a skirt in the office. My usual dress is shirt, tie and a pair of trousers – normally something like Chinos in the summer and moleskins in the winter – with appropriate sissy underwear. I usually have a jacket in the office incase I have to have a Skype meeting/ conference call.

The 5 day rule was introduced years ago by Madam as a way of minimising my time back in the world that caused my health issues, and to be honest it has worked. Things have changed where as in the past there was always that risk of being dragged back into the contracting world, I’m now very comfortable doing the remote consulting work with the very occasional foray out into the construction/ contracting world. It really isn’t a place that I want to go back to.

I spend a good part of the working day in my office, I have control over how much or how little I do, and for the last few years I have been lucky that I’ve had work that had been easy to manage and to fit into our/ my timetable. There had been a few jobs where I’ve had to do some late nights or extra work but they have been very special cases.

The house that we live in is a Late Victorian/ Edwardian house that used to be an Estate Managers house, we are set back from the road and our nearest neighbour is about half a mile away and is the farmer that we bought the house from. The House has a 8’ high walled garden, and there were a number of out buildings set into the wall of the garden – a pantry/store and outside toilet, these connect to the house and we converted them to the maids room with its own shower and toilet, the exterior doors blocked up and these now connect directly into the house via the utility room (where else would a maid have her accommodation?). The other building must have been a Garden store cum shed originally, while not big in size on the other side of the wall the farmer at some point had built a blockwork lean-to against the wall.

I had the lean-to closed in to create a building and then knocked through the wall to join the two buildings to create my office, what it means is that I can leave the house via the kitchen and walk to the office in the privacy of the garden and any visitors that I have can enter via a door in the “outer office” (the old lean-to part), not that I get many business visitors.

So why is all this relevant? Madam quite rightly identified that I move from the house to office via the garden, it isn’t overlooked and as I’m comfortable putting the washing out in my working uniform or serving Madam and Master in my maids outfit when the English Weather permits them to sit out in the garden, then there is no issue with me going to work in a skirt – there hasn’t been in the past.

The skirt that I had been wearing for my 5 day blocks had been a knee length pencil skirt, along with a black nylon underskirt/ slip, but this was combined with my normal male shirt and tie. Madam suggested that I should look at another outfit for the office and perhaps replacing my shirts with a blouse or female tailored shirt.

I thought that I should perhaps look at the whole outfit and so set about putting together an appropriate look that Madam would approve of for me to wear – bearing in mind that it would need to tick the boxes of humiliation and to be completely different from my normal male attire.

So on Saturday afternoon I presented myself to Sir and Madam in each outfit for their review and comment.

The first outfit was to make use of the pencil skirt, so I found a sheer white blouse on Amazon with a pussy bow (my knowledge on blouses was not that in-depth at this point so I had to check what it was and then when it arrived did I have to tie it in a certain way! Every day is a school day as Madam often says.) I then added the accessories, as I’ve learned with helping Madam get ready for work – the belt and the necklace or in this case a choker. The choker was a problem as women only have slender necks (apparently) so I could only get a 15” choker but luckily I found that Marks and Spencer do extension links, so we now have a choker that fits my 16½” neck.

The basque provided the foundation and the Charnos 24/7 stockings are my choice for black working stockings.


Madam has regularly made me wear heels in the office and to be honest they have become second nature – I don’t have to be told any more I just do it – I’m wearing heels in the house anyway. My office heels are a set of black courts with a 3” heel – all very smart and they go with the skirt – Ooh! check me out coordinating my outfits!

The second outfit was a little bit more “risqué”, and to be honest I wasn’t sure what Madam and Sir would think but the response was pretty positive with a suggestion to change one item.

The outfit used the basque, stockings, choker and belt but had a loose mid thigh skirt (Madam called it a skater skirt) and a black sheer top with a fitted choker neck. The stocking tops are visible and it is defiantly the office slut appearance.

The only comment that came from Madam was that my court shoes were a “little understated” for the outfit and that I should pair the outfit with the black platform stilettoes that I have (5½” heels).

Madam and Sir were more than happy with my choices and there was a definitely quite a few comments about how they suited a submissive sissy such as me, yes it was red face time again.

As I was about to be dismissed, Madam made the suggestion to perhaps take a couple of photos for the blog – No faces, neutral background, so that the outfits could be shown to those interested, she did comment to Sir that I had received a complement about my legs but I had to be honest that the images were not of me – “perhaps you should let your admirer see what type of legs my sissy husband actually has hiding in his stockings” (another redfaced moment!).

So I’ve attached a few of me in my outfits as directed by Madam and for the benefit of the Blogger “Sex Line Stories” – these are my real legs!

Once we had finished taking the photo Madam passed the camera to me and told me to put my things away and then then report back to the lounge.

I presented myself to Madam and Sir, still in the pencil skirt outfit, and was directed to stand infront of them.

“billie, John and I have been thinking and we think that Mick does need some help in the office during the week. Having seen your outfits we think that you could be suitable for the role as secretary for him and to manage the office for him” (I had sort of seen this coming after Madam had joked about it when we were on holiday)

“however Mick doesn’t want just any bimbo slut working for him, you will need to have the right skills and as such I have found a website that will test your typing skills, it’s particularly suited for a sissy like you – we’ll discuss what standard you are to achieve next week but you will have a fortnight to come upto the standard”.

“Also once you have reached that standard you will need to be interviewed for the job, obviously Mick can’t do that so John had kindly offered to do the interview one evening at his office, to confirm your suitability to be a PA and Secretary to my husband’s company” and with that they both had a chuckle – and those two developments I did not see coming! Bugger!

So it looks like the skirt is now to become a permanent feature of office wear.

A Quiet Night In

Master came over on Friday night, arriving about 7.30pm, Madam was already waiting in the lounge with a glass of wine. Having heard the control activate for the gates (Master’s car has one of the openers) I went to the front door to greet him. I opened the front door and formally welcomed him to Madam’s home, as he entered and he got a first look at the new uniform.

“Very nice billie, showing a bit of leg and stocking top”, I thanked Sir and showed him into where Madam was and then brought him a glass of wine, he had settled down with Madam on the Couch.

Before I was allowed to leave Madam had me stand before her and Master and they had me explain what had gone into the uniform. A new dress and apron, existing underskirt, new suede stiletto heels (4½” heels), a set of lace wristlets, the new basque and black sheer frilled panties and some stockings. Master directed that I raise my skirt at the front so that he could see my chastity through the panties.


“So billie, how does all of this make you feel?” As a sissy maid?”

I’m not allowed to have direct eye contact with Sir or Madam, so while looking at Sir’s feet, “submissive Sir”,

“I’m sure that you can do better than that billie?”

“subservient and submissive Sir”

“Good, that is how it should be”

This was Master setting the tone for the weekend. This is a common factor that does happen normally within the first 10-15 minutes of his arrival. It can take many forms from a verbal discussion similar to this, it could be verbal humiliation – “What sort of husband are you billie? Dressing up as a sissy….etc” or it could require a physical act of submission such as kneeling and kissing of feet, a formal uniform inspection or even kneeling before Master and orally worshiping him infront of Madam.

All of these methods are there to set the tone and conditions that Master is now in the house and that I am the Beta male, the submissive sissy, to both him and Madam (always remembering that Madam has primacy).

I was dismissed back to my duties (putting Masters bag up in Madam’s room and then getting on with dinner).

Madam and Master, were not going out over the weekend, having just been away they had planned to have a quiet weekend at home. I served Dinner in the Dining Room (our lounge connects directly to what was dining room, so it is a long room that runs front to back, we have a dining table for 6 people at the bottom of the room and that is the “Dining Room”) for both of them, when they finished they then went back to the couches in the lounge to watch some TV. I tidied up and cleared the kitchen. Having checked that Madam and Master were OK for drinks, I retired to the kitchen to eat.


When I am billie I am not allowed to sit on the furniture of the house, I have been provided with a small folding table and a folding chair and these are used for me to eat from and to use for writing my lines and any tasks/ assignments that I am given. I have these set up in the utility room that links the kitchen to my maids quarters. When not in use I am required to fold them up and place them back into my maids room.

At 1030pm I was called for by Madam, and when I entered the lounge (a curtsey on entry) to find that Madam and Sir were enjoying themselves. I was directed to go and turn the bed down and to wait in “the corner”.


In Mistress’s Bedroom, there is a corner nominated where I must stand, I must face the wall and be as close enough so that my toes of my shoes just touch the skirting board. I must not look away from the wall no matter what is going on behind me. Being put the corner could be a short time position, I’m just put there so that I’m not in the way while I wait for my next duty or I could be there for some time (my longest has been 3 hours – my calves where in agony)

Corner time can be used as a punishment or sometimes for frustrating arousal. You are in a room facing the wall with your sissy bits in a chastity listening to your Mistress/wife being made love to/ having sex with her boyfriend, your Master. It is very humiliating and arousing, it heightens your senses and your hearing becomes very sensitive. Madam and Sir entered the room, I was ignored and could hear clothes being removed.

“sissy get over here and remove your wife’s panties!” This is another part of the setting the conditions of the Alpha and the beta male. I will kneel in front Madam , while Sir stands next to her and then slowly lower her knickers. This is both humiliating and frustratingly arousing. Madam always perfumes her knickers and always wears stockings. She know that these are two of my biggest turn ons and she know how it will affect me.

“Is your wife wet for me?”

I’m not allowed to use my fingers for this, I must use my tongue only, and invariably Madam is aroused. If Madam pulls my head in towards her and holds my head then I will continue to lick. If not then I finish my initial licks and answer to Master. Fortunately Madam held my head and I had the privilege to orally worship her for a short few moments.


“That’s enough dear, John wants a bit of attention as well.” Master had removed his pants and I am faced with his cock. It is my task to fluff Master so that he is ready for Madam. Now, in reality there is no need for this as Master is very much erect and again this is simply an exercise in my emasculation and humiliation, I will show my Mistress and Master that I am subservient to them.


Again, as with Madam, I am not allowed to use my hands I must kiss the tip of Master’s cock and then start to lick the shaft before taking it into my mouth. As is often the case I work under the guidance of my dominants, in this case Madam provided the instruction and direction and it was her hand that went to the back of my head to provide the physical encouragement. I don’t know how long I did it for but Mistress provided my encouragement until Master said enough.

I was dismissed as Madam and Sir moved to the bed to start their evening of lovemaking.
“Bring some wine up in an hour, we’ll have some cleaning for you to…” and with that I was dismissed.

(So why do you do it you fucking wimp?- I do it because I love my wife and I do it because it is what she wants, my submission is a massive turn on for her and for me, yes it is humiliating, yes I feel emasculated but it is also an enormous buzz and turn on both sexually and psychologically – it is part of the D/s minds set being submissive and willing to serve. It is difficult to describe, there is a whole raft of emotions that go with it. I know for some people they will not get it, that’s fine, others will think that this is a bit extreme and others not extreme enough. This is a kink and it plays with the emotions and for Madam and me it works and that is all that is needed. It provides sexual enjoyment, stress relief through the submitting and serving (for me) and the stress relief for Madam through being able to dominate her partner. This works on so many levels it is difficult to quantify but for both of us it makes our life good and our relationship stronger and that is what is important. I’m sure that I will write about it more in the future.)

Thursday Night – Discipline Review, Punishments and Discussion.

We are now back into our normal routine after a busy month of holidays, family visits and the August Bank Holidays and the trials and tribulations that it held for me.
So, as per our schedule, Thursday night is Punishment Night. Madam came home and relaxed in the lounge with a glass of wine as I put the final touches to her dinner. I served her meal and afterwards she went to her Study. I cleared everything away, tidied the dining table and the kitchen and then went and changed my uniform ready for 8pm.

I changed into my new maids uniform as Madam had not seen it. It had arrived on the Tuesday last week and I had just enough time to get it checked over and tried on for size, Ironed and into the suit carrier ready to leave the following morning for my assessment. (Tuesday evening was busy with Ironing and packing both my items and Madam’s clothes for her long weekend away with Master.)

The dress was bought via Ebay, from a woman that makes them to order, we have had items from her before (sissy knickers and chastity pouches) and they have been very good. The dress is black satin with white lace edging (yes very traditional I know) with a white apron . the dress comes with 2 sets of loops on the back one at the neck and one at the waist should there be a need to pad lock the dress on. I didn’t order a new net under skirt as the ones that I have are still OK.

I put on my new Basque, and a pair of sheer nylon panties with ruffles on them (from the same company that did the basque) plain top deep welt stockings and a new pair of black heels (I pushed the boat out – both to please Madam but also to ensure that I would pass my inspections on my assessment). With the dress on and the underskirt the skirt element sticks out and my stocking tops are visible. I collected my little note book and went to wait for 8pm to present myself to Madam.


Madam was surprised and seemed very pleased with my outfit. I had to turn around slowly several times and Madam got up to have a closer look. She liked the whole arrangement and commented that Master would probably enjoy seeing me in it tomorrow night when he arrived.


I was directed to sit and the discipline review started. My report from Mistress Carol was read to me and while I had passed there was a few points that would need to be worked on. Mistress Carol’s comments about my lack of piercings, and ownership marks (tattoo) were noted but Madam confirmed that she would not be looking to change the current situation. Madam also confirmed that she would continue with the policy of limited body hair removal, she still wanted me to have the humiliation of being a submissive male required to wear sissy outfits rather that to be a crossdresser trying to give the impression of being female.

I was commended for passing the assessment and also for my performance at the hotel at the end of the weekend. My failings were small and minor and as such I was allocated 2 lots of 10 paddle punishments and 10 hand spanks to my backside.

Madam then discussed the blog and she had stated how everyone seemed to enjoy reading it. Master reads it and likes to check what has been put up, Madam stated that Master will not be contributing to it but he may be “suggesting” topics for me to explain and publish on it. Madam also expressed her surprise that she enjoyed adding to the content (we originally planned that Madam would only contribute very occasionally and normally to just correct or clarify a point or issue) and as such she will continue to add content as she see’s fit.

Madam stated that she has discussed with Master and Mistress Carol about putting on the details of the Assessment Weekend and also the visit to the hotel, and all have agreed that I should write about each of the events. Madam wants me to provide enough detail for people to know what happened and where and how I was humiliated, where I was aroused, punished and also used as a submissive sissy but without it becoming too smutty (if it is too smutty she see it potentially undermining a blog that has been useful to explain our lifestyle and life choices) – make it interesting was the phrase she used. I was told to work on it from Monday next week and publish it each evening.

Madam asked me about my other purchases – my office outfit, I said that it had arrived and that it had all fitted. She seemed very pleased and then told me that on Saturday Afternoon I would be required to give a formal showing to her and Master of the outfit, I pointed out that in reality I now had 2 outfits for the office, based on where I originally had to wear a skirt and now the new outfit. I would model both outfits on Saturday and I would get feedback from Madam and Master on what they thought. If they were not up to scratch then there would be entries in the disciple book and I would have to make changes. I think I will be OK, (fingers crossed and touching wood etc…)

With that I was ordered to stand up and position myself over the chair for my correction of misdemeanours.


It looks like I will have a busy week of writing next week and I will also let you know how I get on with Saturday. I’ll now get back to the work I have in the office before going and getting prepared for Madam coming back from work and then Master arriving for the weekend.

Cuckolding Conditions

Madam arrived back about 8pm last night and looked done in, it always seems that way on the first day back after such a long break – I know that she had been in when her family were here but that was mainly to check some of the orders had ben placed.

I had her dinner ready for her and a glass of wine, once she was finished she had a bit of a sit and we chatted about work etc and then I ran her a bath.  when I looked in on her at about 10.30pm she was in bed and fast asleep.  I finished off my duties and went to my bed in the Maids room.

Early in our FLR, Madam and I discussed the prospect of Madam having an affair.  It was genuinely a 2 way conversation.  with my health condition at the time, I physically struggled to perform for madam and for myself.  Also with Madam’s conversations with Mistress Carol she was interested in Cuckolding me.  but all within controlled boundaries and rules.  Madam is 5 years younger than me and I new that she was missing a sex life, just as I was but we needed to refocus and to get ourselves sorted.

When we moved down from Leicestershire to here, south of Milton Keynes, it was a new start for us, Madam started to use her maiden name and used the title of Ms.  when she started working at here new job, she made no indication that she was married.  She went on a couple of girls nights out and had a some success in on having the occasional one night stand.

However Madam wanted something a bit more stable.  she met “George” through a singles group and that started a 6 year relationship.  George was aware that she was married and once she was comfortable with the way their relationship was running she invited him and I to meet.  He was a nice guy, very good for Madam.  but he made it clear that he wasn’t comfortable with some of the aspects of the FLR.  Not that he wanted to change parts of it, just that he felt that was a thing between Madam and me and not him.  He certainly was not interested in any participation on my part in their relationship, but he did understand what we did and he really got the reasons behind it

Madam and George had a very good relationship and it only came to an end when he had to move due to work.  He was heading out to the States and it looked like it was a big step up for him and it would have been stupid for him not to have taken the promotion and job.  So Madam was free and “single” again.

by this point in time there were several internet sites and groups for dating.  After a few false starts and one disaster she meet John, who would become Master.

John had married early and had 2 daughters but the marriage broke down, quite badly and john spent quite a few years battling with his ex wife.  John’s view was that he wanted a physical relationship but without the marriage aspect.  He had found it with the swingers sites (but that can be limited apparently when you are a single male) and also with a few websites that dealt with Married women wanting affairs.

John had been involved with a couple that were into the cuckolding scene, but the husband in that relationship was what gets termed a “Stag” – he encourages his wife to have the affair and either gets off on her telling him about it or in watching it.  From what John has told us there was no D/s element to it at all.

Madam was upfront with John about our FLR and that she was my Dominant and that I was her submissive.  She also explained that I was in chastity most of the time and that I had some elements of feminisation applied.  she also explained the humiliation side of things to him.  Apparently this sparked some interest with John as it was significantly different from his previous cuckolding experience.

John did a bit of research, the internet can be a gold mine and cess pit of information, and he asked to meet me.  We all meet for dinner and had a chat over things as Alice, Mick and John.  John started to understand the difference between Mick and billie and also the dynamic between Alice and Mick and between Madam and billie.

After that meeting John asked for a face to face meeting with Mick, no Alice involvement.  We had a good chat, quite open and it was clear that John had done quite a bit of homework.  I was asked to be honest about my relationship with Alice and how I felt with Alice going out with John.  He wanted to know about my sexuality, he wanted to know about my relationship with Mistress Carol and kerri.  John was also very open with his view on life and was very comfortable with answering my questions – I liked the guy and I still do (we play the occasional game of squash and we are both incredibly rubbish at golf but do enjoy a short 9 hole game every now and again).  we left that meeting with John saying that he had quite a lot to think about and he now had a better understanding on the relationships and the strength on Alice and Micks marriage.

About a week later I had a call from John, could I meeting him at his Office, just after work, as he wanted to discuss how he wanted to proceed with the relationship with Alice, but also with Mick/billie.

Looking back now I can see why it was done this way, I was in his office, on his “turf” and he was about to issue the terms of his “contract” to enter into our relationship.

John would become Alice’s boyfriend, John had no problem with Alice and Mick’s relationship (he had one stipulation and I’ll cover that shortly) but billie would have several conditions applied to him and they would require to be implemented prior to John coming to our house.

John asked Mick to purchase a small jewellery box to be given to Alice as a gift and in it he would like me to place my wedding ring and to give it to Alice, Alice could then place her engagement and wedding rings in the box together.  John’s thinking was that Alice and he would be boyfriend/ girlfriend but Alice and Mick would still be very much married and having the rings all together would be a symbol of that union.  A nice touch and I did get it, even though it would appear she was single by not wearing rings I got the symbolism of the rings being together.

For billie things would be some what different.  As far as John was concerned he would only accept one male in the house when he came over to be with Alice, and as the Alpha male that would be him, he wanted billie to be firmly in place as the beta.

John would be referred to as Master or Sir at all times, just as I use Madam or Mistress when engaging with Alice.

billie must be subservient and submissive to Master at all times, unless directed by Mistress.

billie will always be in chastity when Master in in attendance.

billie will always meet master at the door of the house and invite him in.  Master may require billie to demonstrate his subservience.

There will be no direct eye contact with Master, unless ordered to.

Billie would be required to be in female clothing at all times when Master is around, if out in public I must have female underwear on.

Master fully intends to emasculate billie infront of Mistress and should be prepared to provide oral and be taken anally.  this can be at any time and as such billie must ensure that he is clean and available to be used.

If billie is to be in attendance during Master and Madam’s love making and sex and required to do clean up then Master must have his cock cleaned first.

Billie must be prepared to carry out fluffing duties and/or to assist in putting Master into Mistress.

Master can punish billie, but only at the request of Madam.  (This helped me to understand that John knew the D/s relationship was based on Madam and me and that he was being invited into the relationship, but when it came to details John understood the FLR had primacy)

Master would help and assist Madam in my humiliation, but would not compromise our situation with Family, friends and work.

billie must be prepared to be regularly humiliated and emasculated by Master, so that Master is sure that billie understands his position in the relationship.

Master would now be Madam’s Boyfriend and as such he would be socialising with her in the local area.  billie was to stop socialising with Madam in any local restaurants and bars.  Master wanted the ability to take his girlfriend for meals  and nights out without any embarrassment to him or to Madam.  If billie wished to take Madam out for an evening then it would have to be done further a field (London).

billie will be required to drive Madam and Master out on their local dates and collect them at the end of the evening.

billie does not have the right to be present when Master and Madam make love and have sex, he will be informed if his presence will be required and also he will be directed on what he is to do – sit and watch, face the wall or actively participate.


There were other requirements but these were the main ones, these were all accepted and became the foundation of having Master in the relationship and it does work.  these have evolved and increased but it meant that Alice had a boyfriend and I now had a Mistress and Master.  The final aspect was that all 3 of us would have a health check and confirm that we were STD free as Master and Mistress had decided that the relationship would progress on to being without condoms, she would still be on the pill, but I would also be required to used without condoms, once the checks came through as OK we were a committed relationship of three.  Alice had always used condoms with her previous partners and when I’m at Mistress Carol’s there is always condoms used (with kerri and Mistress Carol’s partner – but generally I’m only ever used orally by Master Daniel)

And so it all started.tumblr_inline_oocadb7UyW1tovg9w_540a




We’re back and I’m still in one piece – Just!

Madam and Master got back home yesterday afternoon from Dorset and they appear to have enjoyed their time away together.

I arrived back about 9pm due to setting off slightly later and having to travel back to Reading with Kerri.  Mistress Carol also made me change into female outer clothes with wig and makeup and then I joined the Bank holiday traffic again to get home.  eventually getting home after a little bit later than I had hoped.

My three and a bit days of Maid and submissive assessment passed with it’s usual mix of humiliations and frustration, but all with new challenges  and twists to create them, Madam and Mistress Carol do put a lot of effort and organisation into the weekend and I am very grateful for their efforts for me.  I passed my assessments with the same comments/ demerits that I’ve had for the last couple of years (as well as a reddened backside) – Mistress Carol would like me hairless – totally, I should be marked showing Madam’s ownership of me and that I should have piercings – Kerri has her nipples, belly button and tongue pierced.  Mistress believes that my oral skills would improve significantly if I had a tongue stud

The 2 days at the hotel were very humiliating for me and Kerri, and while Kerri probably got the better deal from it she did have to suffer one serious humiliation.

Madam has been at work today and will be back later this evening, once she is back she will discuss with me what she would like me to write up on from the long weekend, Madam did task me to set up this blog to add to my humiliation as well as using it as an element of therapy and understanding/ explanation on our thoughts and feelings on our lifestyle.   So please bear with us, I need to know how much or how little to disclose and what type of direction each post should take.

The one thing that I have been told is that Master does read the blog and that he would like me to explain what rules and conditions he has set and requires me to comply with and how his involvement in Madam’s life and our relationship has evolved.  So you can see that I have potentially quite a few posts to write.

I will publish this post and hopefully I will get back to the computer later this evening after Madam has come home.  In the meantime it is back to doing the Holiday clothes washing and Ironing – such is the trials of the domestic sissy.


Normality (?) Returns to Madam’s Home

Well the family has all left, the last one dropped off at the station at 6pm last night and on her way and we headed home and I made a salad dinner for the both of us and opened a bottle of red, we both slumped down on the couch.  We love the family (well Alice’s family, mine not so much) but we do really enjoy having our space and our privacy.

We should be family free for at least a few months now and I think that will be enough for Madam to recover and be ready to deal with the next visit to vanilla life.  It was one of the reasons that we moved from Leicestershire – Alice to move into a Management job, a change in my work life (and away from my work past) and to put some real space between us and the family so that we could have our space and some privacy to heal and for both of us to develop.

so once the bottle of red was finished, Madam leaned over and whispered “put the plates in the sink, the maid will deal with them in the morning, go get changed, your Mistress needs some relaxation and some attention…”  That is the type of instruction doesn’t need to be repeated.  So Mick and Alice spent a gentle evening transitioning to Madam and billie.


So billie is now firmly back in place, Madam is currently finishing her breakfast and I will soon start with clearing it away and get the dishes done.  I’ve then got the bedrooms to do – strip beds and make up again.

Then this afternoon I will have pack my bag ready for leaving tomorrow.  Madam will also be picking out what she will need for her weekend away and what she will require Ironing.

Madam has told me that I’ll be going away with 2 bags, one for my stay with Mistress Carol and then one for the stay at the hotel.  but Madam had said that she will be packing my “hotel” bag for me which suggests something is afoot!  but my first worry is to get through my assessment with Mistress Carol – never an easy event, then we’ll deal with what Madam and Master have planned.

so today is mainly getting back to domestic duties.




New outfits arrive but not the important one

Well over the past week I’ve had several packages arrive and I’ve had to collect them and squirrelled them through the house and store them in the office, as the maids room is locked down.

Madam’s mother noticed the arrivals and was a little curious about what was going on?

“Oh, just a small project that I’m working on, mainly for the office..”

The only issue is that the new maids outfit has not arrived yet, I’m hoping it will arrive today so that I can get it prepared tomorrow (Ironed, starched etc) ready for my early departure on Wednesday to Mistress Carol’s.  otherwise it will be the trusty old uniform and I’ll be punished for disappointing Madam who was keen to have me in my new uniform for the assessment.

So please Mister Postman……. otherwise….


The Letter arrived yesterday

I was due to post yesterday while Madam and the others were out horse riding but Madam’s mother stayed back, as planned but her usual afternoon nap didn’t occur.  she wanted to catch up with me and what had been going on with my life.

while this initially caught me off guard there was nothing untoward, she just wanted to chat and natter.  but it meant forgoing the trip to the office and the blog post.

Today everyone has gone out on an expedition to London and the plan is that they will have some food, I will be on standby to pick them up from the station.

On Tuesday night Madam and I were chatting and she reminded me (I couldn’t forget) that I would be going to Mistress Carol’s for the first part of the August Bank Holiday and my instructions would be arriving by post soon.  I asked Madam if she knew what was planned for this visit and she just smiled which was as good an answer as I needed.

Basically this is my Annual training assessment as a submissive, if you like it is “an external assessment”, this was instigated years ago by Madam and Mistress Carol to make sure that I wasn’t slacking or short changing my Mistress.  I normally go down on the Wednesday prior to the Bank Holiday and serve as a Maid at Mistress Carol’s until the Saturday afternoon.

Madam and Master use the weekend as their getaway and often head down to the South Coast, this year they have a cottage booked in Dorset.  this is their time together as a couple.

The last part of the weekend is then normally a big get-together where Mistress Carol, her Gentleman friend, kerri and I then travel down to the cottage (or where ever has been booked ) and we have a bit of a party – eat drink and make “merry”.  This normally entails myself and kerri in maid uniforms serving our betters.  it is normally a fun way to finish off the weekend – (although will always be at least one element of humiliation and punishment incorporated into the events.)

This year is slightly different as the cottage could not be booked for the whole weekend, it is a lovely place near Weymouth and we had it booked for August Bank Holiday last year, but I knew that we could only get it for part of the weekend.  Master was content with that (he pays for it – I have to book it and arrange it)  so Madam and Master only have it until Saturday.  Master told me at the time not to worry as he would sort out accommodation for the Saturday and Sunday night, and with that assurance I never gave it any further thought.

Madam updated me on what the plan would be for the weekend.  Master and Madam would go to the cottage until Saturday lunch time and then head to a small country hotel near Bournemouth, 3 rooms had been booked, one for each of the couples.  I looked at Madam and she answered me before I could ask – “John and Myself in one double, Carol and Danny in another double,” I was expecting the next to be ” and you and kerri in a twin”

No! no that isn’t what Madam said.

” and you and kerri booked into the Third Double room.  you’ve been booked in as a married couple so there should be no misunderstandings with the staff.”  I’m not sure if Madam then laughed at me going red with shame or because she new that this was the start of my weekends humiliation task.

This is going to a public element of humiliation, I know that there will be more parts to this and I know that they will be trickled out to me so that the feelings of shame and humiliation will build, Madam also knows that it will give me a sexual buzz doing it and complying with it.

The staff of the hotel are just going to be the unwitting bystanders –  they will probably be perfectly fine with what they think is a same sex couple staying in their establishment, but it will be the public elements that will be witnessed by my Mistresses and their Partners.  I will have to wait and see what the next part of the planned weekend will be.


The letter from Mistress Carol arrived with yesterdays post (along with several packages that I had ordered for my outfit revamp as directed by Madam while we were on holiday).  when I say letter, I actually mean an Order/ Instruction arrived.

sissy billie is to present herself at Mistress Carol’s address for a 3 day maid and submissive assessment.  Billie is to be enfemme for the whole period and should bring appropriate attire to serve in all roles of a maid – domestic, formal, sissy and slut.

I must be in chastity (not a problem) and I must arrive enfemme at no later than 10am on Wednesday 23 Aug 17 – (this is a problem!).  No trousers are permitted (oh Bugger!)

I’m not a passible sissy, I’m shaved in areas and not in others, so trying to be passible is not on the cards.  yes I do have a couple of cheap and cheerful wigs which we use for times like these but they are not good quality items – more fancy dress than anything else.

so here is the plan.  I will wake Madam next Wednesday at her usual time and help her get ready.  Master John will come over and collect her midmorning.  I will go and get changed into travelling attire.  I’ll spend time doing my make up and then fitting one of the wigs.  I will then ask Madam to check me over, and adjust as required.  The journey normally takes 90 minute down to the south of Reading but with morning traffic I’m expecting it to be nearer 2 hours.  I’ve worked out that staying off the Motorway is best as there is more likelihood of being looked at by curious passengers on there so the plan is to use A roads to get down there – the A418, A404 and a short stint on the M4.  no matter what there will be a sissy on the road next Wednesday heading south.  keep your eyes posted you never know what you might see.

Now that I have a bit of warning of what is coming I can start to mentally prepare for the trials to come.  I should be used to it now but it is these things that keep our relationship fresh and exciting – is that a bad thing?