How did it all get going?

From Mistress Alice

Alice in weird land

We’ve had an early start today and been and done our walk and sight seeing, a lovely lunch and now it is a bit of a relax.

Mick has been directed to do a bit of research for changes to outfits but I’m sure he will tell you about that himself – he seems to be tapping away on the his tablet at the moment so I’m not sure if he is contacting people or drafting his post to the blog.

so how did we get to where we are, we have explained why we did it but how did this FLR relationship come into it’s current form and how did we get it to work?

Our relationship was becoming a series of arguments and clashing of heads in 2001, Mick’s work frustrations and stress and my frustrations with life.  when Mick had his breakdown the air cleared and we had a really good heart to heart.

Our sex life had been very adventurous (for us at the time) and we both had done a bit of role play, bit of crossdressing and fetish play.  we had some a bit of Dom/sub playing (and that was what it was – playing) each taking turns to be the Dom.  The two surprises what that I really enjoyed the power trip and the feelings that it gave me and the other was that Mick struggled to take on the role – surprising as he was definitely an Alpha male in his work environment.  Mick was far more comfortable when he was in the submissive role.

during our Heart to Heart Mick explained that he hated the arguments but he was just losing control of work and life, but he didn’t want to lose me.  he wanted me to be his focus and as we talked we discussed how he would manage his work and how we would have to adjust our lives.  So the seeds were sown where I would become the Alpha in the relationship and Mick the submissive, Mick would finish his current contract and move to the consulting side of the industry – all of this just didn’t happen but took almost 9 months of talking, trying things, talking again and learning.

in the past we had both read a magazine called FORUM, (bear in mind this was 2001 and the internet was not the mine of information that it is now) and I went back through some old copies that we still had and read some of the articles and stories – some were clearly just that – Stories, but I did get some ideas.  On my next trip to London I went and picked up a current copy of FORUM and also called into a shop that I had visited with Mick before – Honour (near Waterloo Station) and picked up a couple of other magazines hoping to get some more ideas.

in the back of most of these publications there would be  adverts for Mistress and contacts but you would also get personal ads.  In one I found personal ad from a Dominant Wife with a submissive sissy who was looking to develop his training.  while this wasn’t what I wanted it did offer a potential insight to what/ where I wanted to travel.

That evening I wrote (pen and paper were still in fashion at this point) asking the Wife if she could give me some pointers and advice so that I could develop the relationship with Mick.  I posted it to the PO Box number with the vain hope that it might get a response – my hopes at this point were not high.

2 weeks later I came home to a letter, neatly written, from a lady that referred to herself as Mistress Carol, it was polite but blunt warning me that if I was a male thrill seeker then I could piss off, but if I was a fledgling Dom I should write again with more details. we corresponded for a about 6 weeks by post and then I was asked to provide a phone number and times when I would be in preferably when Mick was not.

Mistress Carol called about a week after the letter had been posted and our relationship started to take off.  we would chat twice a week, me with questions and Carol with advice (she had dropped the Mistress title once she realised that I was genuine and wanted help and guidance).  3 months after starting all of this correspondence and calls it was decided that we should meet and So Mistress Carol became my mentor on the way to becoming Mistress Alice.

Carol was a woman in her early 40s, she had been widowed in her 20’s after a car accident that almost killed her but took her husband.  She had been working part time and slightly struggling to make ends meet and had been asked by a friend if she would like earn a bit of money helping her friend who was doing some Domination work, the way Carol explains it is far more interesting but it gave her and real insight to the scene and also an understanding about the different elements of Domination and Submission.  Carol can explain the difference between the 2 hour whipping session with a paying client and a lifestyle choice.  while it provided her work it also meant that she was invited out into the fetish scene in London over the years she had a number of relationships but she found that she had a thing for submissive sissies and that is were she met her sissy Kerri, at that point called Kevin (Kerri is far cuter that Kevin).  Kevin is 18 years her junior.  When I first met Carol she had married Kerri 2 years previously and she had trained him to be her submissive sissy.

Carol spent the weekend explaining a lot of the basics and fundimentals and it was great to meet Kerri and see what could be done.

The biggest take away from the meeting was that there is a difference with Dom Sub play and a FLR.  Carol was working/ playing in the Dominatrix world but had a FLR as part of her home life.  she had reduced her Dom work and was wanting to do a bit more with her sissy to get that home life where she wanted it.

She was quite upfront with me, she would help me, explain things to me  – show me where appropriate. but I would also be required to help with her development of Kerri.

Over the next 12 months I learned a lot about the emotional side of FLR and how not to mess it up, how to understand the needs of the submissive are really, really important – often more important that those of the Dominant.  it allowed me to get our relationship right with Mick and to create sissy billie.

Carol also helped to train billie, this was introduced about 12 months into our FLR.  when we started with Chastity (about 2005) we both took billie and Kerrie to London to purchase their cages together and both Carol and I are the secondary Keyholders for each others sissy.

We are very good friends and regularly meet up to play and for vanilla get togethers.  billie will at least twice a year be sent back to Mistress Carol for refresher training – almost like a Quality Assurance process to ensure that he/she is still suitably submissive and still can maintain the appropriate standards as a sissy maid and servant to her Mistress.  while billie dreads his training assessments I do think he enjoys meeting with sissy kerri as they are “very” good friends.  I’m sure we’ll discuss that further later.

well that’s enough for now, time to have a cup of tea and get ready for this evening.



Sex and the Sissy

From Mistress Alice.

Alice in weird land

Well the holiday is going well and both myself and Mick are enjoying the break away.  It allows us both to relax and spend some husband wife quality time together.  Not that this is the only time in the year when it happens but this is a good break away from things at home.

Now sex is something that is bound to come up as a topic and it probably should be discussed now – I’m having a bit of a rest here while Mick is arranging our trip out tomorrow.

The bottom line is that I don’t have sex with Mick/billie – simple!  I have a wonderfully skilful and well endowed Boyfriend for that type of thing, and boy do we fuck!

However I need to explain a few things, I’ve said that I don’t have sex with Mick/billie when he is in either format – my husband or my sissy.  But we do have intercourse.  Is that a contradiction?  well for me it isn’t.

I love my wonderful partner Mick and when he is in his submissive form, billie, but I don’t want sex with him(them)  what I do want is on occasion is for them to make love to me.  I will let Mick out of the Chastity Cage occasionally and at that point he knows that I need both my emotional and physical needs stratifying.  we both need long foreplay, gentle arousal, caressing and yes I do need his cock.  while it is considerably smaller than John’s it is still very stratifying and it can bring me to orgasm.

I have trained Mick to be a very gentle lover and very considerate and our lovemaking will last all evening.  Yes he get to cum, but he knows that as soon as he does he must ensure that I have my orgasm to complement his, whether that is to continue to use his penis or to get down and bring me to climax using his tongue – eitherway he will have to orally clean me anyway.

There are some basic rules to our lovemaking, I will not give him a blowjob or put his penis in my mouth, that is saved for John, the closest that he gets to that from me is if I see pre-cum or drippage from his caged penis I may lick it with my tongue and then french kiss him to pass it back to him.

The other rule is that he does not get to put his penis in my ass, again this is a privilege kept for John.

Our love making is enjoyable and chastity has made Mick a far more considerate lover.  There is no set pattern to when or where it happens.  We have done it twice since cuming on holiday and that might be why Mick has a spring in his step at the moment – it might happen again tonight, it depends how my mood takes me.

I have slightly been economical with the truth, I do have sex with billie (not Mick) but this is mainly billie orally serving me (when ever I want it) and cleaning me after I have had sex with John.  Also I do have anal sex with billie but that does involve one of my strap-ons or dildos using Billie’s ass (his sissy pussy), and sissy billie can also have some solo fun with one of his “Toys”.

sissy Billie’s does have a sex life and does get lucky to have sex as well.  billie will often provide blowjobs to his Master, John, and occasionally his Master will fuck him.  while I know that billie get pleasure from this it purpose is to ensure that billie understand his emasculated position in the relationship while also to humiliating him and to ensure that he knows he is a cuckold sissy.

There is another occasion when billie is allowed sex but I’m sure that will be explained in more detail at the end of the month, I might get billie to explain that one.

so in conclusion I do not allow Mick/ billie to have sex with me, he does get released as I need him to make love to me (and me to him).  I have sex with billie and billie offers (well sometimes, often he is told) himself to his Master to be used for sex.

Does that all make sense?


Pininterest – You are Gits!

well her is my rant, I have like many others a pininterest account and it is pretty good, the only problem is that there are several overly sensitive “people” out there in internet land, and so over the last month I’ve had several of my pins reported.

Fine, no problem which ones?

Pininterest – sorry sir we can’t tell you that, you need to review your content and remove any which may cause offence. (well that could be very wide or very narrow depending on how you look at it!!!)

so I created a separate folder and made it secret (private view only) and moved what I thought were the pictures they wanted removed.

well clearly that didn’t work as they deleted 3 of my public folders (Sissy, Sissy Maids and Sissy Cuckold) and also my secret folder!  Apparently somebody complained again!

Looks like you just can’t win!!ad0d322b8fc8bf243e5020a3776a9d2f


Holiday has started – Thankfully!

Well we have now managed to escape from the UK for a week long holiday in the Tyrol, one of Madam’s Favourite areas.

after a day and a half of travel – driving and sight seeing we have arrived at out holiday location and settled in.

An easy relaxing morning and then out for a little bit of walking this afternoon followed with a restaurant dinner later.  Hopefully the pattern for the rest of the week will be a time to unwind, after I had a bit of a rant this morning but I’ll put that in another post after this one.

So here we are in Austria on a vanilla holiday, but just so that you are aware, I’m still in panties and the cage is very much in place.  No stockings at the moment as it is too hot and would look “odd” with my shorts but only Madam decides when and if my cage is removed.

Very Quick Change of Plan!

The plan was that Mistress Alice and her submissive would have another week and a bit of play prior to becoming Mick and Alice and head off to the Tyrol on holiday for a week, this would be followed by us being visited by Family over a fortnight and then Mistress Alice, Master John and sissy billie going to the south coast for a few days over the August Bank Holiday.

well real life (the vanilla bit anyway) has intervened and tomorrow afternoon we while have one of our nieces arrive to stay with her Aunt Alice and Uncle Mick, so we have been making the house vanilla proof.

we have 2 nieces and we think the world of them, we spent two years looking after them when they were toddlers due to their mother (Alice’s sister) having cancer treatment, so while we make it clear to the family that we want out privacy and space from the family it is hard to refuse someone that you almost look upon as a daughter.

so Madam and submissive will have a last session this evening and sissy will wake Madam with her customary oral worship before billie becomes Mick for the day and he welcomes the early arrival of one of their favourite elements of the family.

That’s the way things go when the outside world steps into your carefully constructed world of D/s.

The plan is that while we have visitors we will try and put very short posts up on the blog, these may be very short updates or they just be pictures with a short comment –  either way I will try and keep posts coming, mainly as I don’t want another paddling like the one that I received for my earlier tardy posting behaviour.

hopefully see you on the other side of the Vanilla bit!

Punishment Night – Follow Up

So last night I presented myself in Madam’s Study at 8pm, dressed in French Maids uniform and clutching my misdemeanour book for Mistress Alice’s review.

Once sat in the chair and a verbal rebuke for slouching and to sit up straight. Madam’s and my book were looked at.

My performance report for the week was grade as “fair to good” with a merit awarded for one of the meals that I cooked during the week but there needed to more effort in the coming weeks in domestic cleaning ready for a visit by some family members in August.  All fully understood.

I received a verbal rebuke for the 2 pairs of stockings that had been snagged and 12 strokes with the paddle for accumulated minor failings and then 6 of the cane for being late with a curtsey on entering a room that had Master and Mistress in last weekend.

The last punishment was a Deferred Master punishment – an over the knee spanking of 40 slaps of my bare bottom.  This was for being tardy with getting changed from Mick to sissy billie last Sunday evening so that I could be ready to serve Madam and her Boyfriend their Sunday Dinner.

Master will arrive this evening, around 6pm, and my guess would be that they will hold the punishment until early Saturday evening when I’ll be spanked prior to having to drive Master and Mistress out for their Evening.  This would be done to humiliate me and to remind me that Master is the Alpha Male in the house and that he will be Entertaining my wife for the evening.  it will also give me a warm & sore reminder as I sit in the driving seat of the car, as their sissy chauffeur,  taking them to the Pub or Restaurant of their choice.  My red bottom will keep me company for the evening until I am called to collect them.

and such was the results of this weeks Discipline Review ( the cane marks will go by Sunday…..)


Thursday Night – Punishment Night

It is Thursday and as previously mentioned Madam holds what she call her “Correction Session” or “Discipline Review”. This is normally done at 8pm and in the Study, (we have an old Victorian house that had been part of a local Estate and probably had been built for one of the Estate Managers).

As a rule the Study is off limits to me other than to clean it twice a week, Monday and Thursday mornings, Madam does use it as a working area when she has to work from home but she also uses it as her quiet room. It has an old fashioned desk but with a modern leather office chair. The room also has a pair of leather wing back chairs each with a small side table, the type that one would place a whisky tumbler or Brandy glass on. There is one item that is slightly out of place in the room and that is an old plain dining chair, this is the punishment chair.

As a rule I will be told what I will be required to wear for my Discipline Review, this may relate to what I will be required to do after my Review. It could be one of my maids uniforms, my Secretary suit or what is basically a variation on the school girl outfit – short plaid skirt, white blouse, stockings etc. If I will be in the school girl outfit then I know it will be a difficult review and probably painful.


Mistress will be seated in her chair behind the desk and at 8pm I will knock and wait to be called into the room. I will curtsy and be directed to sit in the punishment chair which will be in front of the desk. This will be suffiently back from the desk so that I will be in full view of Madam and also so that will feel isolated in the room.

Madam will ask me to present my “misdemeanour book”, this is a small hard backed note book that I must record any mistakes or infractions that may have occurred over the last week, such as snagged stockings, lack of attention, delays in sticking to my schedule, not paying correct complements to Mistress, Master or any Females etc. Basically I must record anything that I feel appropriate that I should be corrected or “helped” to improve my attitude or behaviour.

Mistress also has a note book that she records her (and Masters) noted failures on my part. These tend to me more serious infractions. Madams book will also include merit points as well, things that I have done well and where I should be commended.

Madam will review all of the entries and will allocate the following against each:

Dismissed (either it is a trivial matter or my Merit points cancel a punishment)
A verbal admonishment
Written correcting lines (in sets of 50)
Hand spanking
Cane/ Riding Crop
Mistress’s Deferred punishment
Master’s Deferred Punishment

A deferred punishment is basically any of the other punishments that are delayed until the weekend and when Master is in attendance. With a Mistress Deferred Punishment it could be a Paddling punishment which would be administered by Mistress but in front of Master, normally as he sits in one of the leather chairs enjoying a Drink of his choice and watches my humiliation at the hand of my Madam.

A Master’s deferred Punishment is very similar; the difference is that Mistress watches as Master delivers the punishment.


With the exception of a deferred punishment and lines, All are delivered at the review in the Study. Once Mistress has decided on what the punishment will be (and it could be a combination of punishments) I am required to stand up and either bend over the back of the chair and grip the seat front or kneel on the seat and hold on to the chair back. Once in position it is my responsibility to pull my panties down and humbly request my correction.

Madam will administer the punishment at the pace that she is comfortable with (arms do get tired) and in a manner that is appropriate to impart pain and learning but not to damage – a very light spanking or light flogging to warm and prepare the skin is appropriate before launching into a correction. After each allocation of punishment I will be require to thank Madam for her punishment gift to me and to thank her for her efforts to correct me and to make me a better submissive.

If I have been given lines then I am required to have them completed by 10am on the following Monday, I should leave the neatly on the study desk after I have cleaned the room and they will be reviewed by Madam on Thursday evening prior to my arrival at 8pm for my next Discipline Review.

It all sound very harsh but it does actually relieve stress and frustration between the two of us. The stress of the working week is reduced, Madam finds that it excites her (I’m aware of it as I often have to provide oral service immediately after my punishment ) and the punishment, shame and humiliation is actually a turn on and buzz for me – I don’t crave it – when you get 12 of the cane it hurts but it also does so much more, it’s all about the endorphins apparently.


Either way Punishment Night and my Discipline Reviews are an important part of our week, and it helps is may different ways. It’s not for everyone but it works for us.

Stocking Wearing

When we started to move towards the FLR lifestyle Mistress Alice set a number of basic rules. We both realised that because I was bringing the Alpha Arsehole from my work place back into the home that we needed to create the situation that the only Alpha in the House would be Madam (and later her boyfriend).

So it was decided that I would be required to dress in female attire at all times when at home and to wear female underwear at all times – home or away. As part of that Madam felt that one of the most unmasculine items of lingerie was stockings and suspenders. So the rule became that I must always wear stockings, even when sleeping.

The ideal is to have stockings that require suspenders to hold them up, although at times I have worn hold ups, but Madam prefers the way my chastity is “framed” when she see it with 2 suspenders running either side holding up my stockings. Madam is also clear that panties must be worn over the top of suspenders, never under them – what is the point of doing otherwise?


From my point of view, she is right (of course and as always). You cannot get away from the feeling of the tug of the suspenders as you walk around, whether is skirts or trousers and in my mind I am constantly reminded that an Alpha Male would not wear such items.

The other aspect is particular to when I’m wearing male attire. I’ve been wearing stockings and suspenders of one sort or another full time for the last 14 years (and on and off for the year previous) so I should be comfortable with wearing them but every time I am out in male outer wear I become self-conscious that I’m wearing them and will anyone notice? I still get that humiliation and worry that as I sit in meetings and the material on my trousers tighten over my thigh will someone notice the slight bump that is the suspender clip – will the secretary that is sat note taking next to me recognise the little telltale lump. It’s such a small thing but it almost feels that screams in the room “look! There is a sissy wearing stockings in the room!”

It also means that the submissive in me becomes more to the fore, particular when I deal with business support staff – Secretaries, admin and IT support staff – I’m not the arse that I once was and I am very conscious to be pleasant and courteous with them, I can still be a hardnose twat with Contractors and Contract Managers.

My own self humiliation factor and internal shaming always makes me wonder if the friendly smile from a female staff member is because I’ve been a pleasant person or because she has noticed my little tell tales and she knows that really I’m a Beta Submissive?

The mind and self-guilt can have a significant effect on an individual but it all helps to keep me in check even after all these years.

One of the things that I have learned over the years that there are stockings for different occasions and different times of the day.

As day and working wear I tend to wear Barely Black stockings from Debenhams, they come in a 3 pack and they are pretty good for day to day use. They also come in bronze. They are good for wearing for the day and then need to be washed and dried, if you wear them 2 days on the trot they become stretched and slightly saggy at the welt (and nobody likes a saggy welt!)

However my personal favourites (Oh Check me out!) for working wear are Charnos black plain top stockings that come in a twin pack. These have a great colour and feel with a nice deep welt – Madam loves to see the contrast from stocking nylon to dark welt to white thigh flesh. These hold their shape really well and grip the top of the leg and allow the suspender clip to grip better.


The one type of stocking that we don’t have is Fishnets, Madam isn’t a fan of them, on herself and on her submissive, the nearest that we have is a couple of body stockings that have some mesh/ lace parts to them.

Tights are another no no in this relationship, the only time that they do get worn is as part of a work out/ exercise outfit – I have an fitness programme that involves different activities of which 2 times a week I have to do a set of floor exercises and stretches (press ups, sit ups, squats, lunges etc) and I have an outfit that consist of a firm shapewear body suit and black 60 denier tights , combined with a set of 1” heel ankle boots. Other than that neither of us wear tights.

Evening wear and non domestic work stockings tend to be black with a sheen and smoother to the touch. I have several Fully fashioned stockings and good quality nylons. These tend to come out when I am required for more formal service such as on the weekend evenings.

So as you can see there is quite a bit to the wearing of stockings and me as a submissive, I’m sure that we will come back to again and again with the blog.