We’re Back on line!

We’ve managed to survive through a traumatic period, no internet!

10 days ago they were working on the network down in the village and they clearly did the electronic equivalent of touching both terminals on a battery with a spanner!


So we all lost the phones and the internet. Now the mobiles replace the land line but the mobile internet coverage is limited, so there has been a lot of off line work and then head into town, buy a coffee in a small local cafe – not one of the chains of coffee shops, but a small “greasy spoon” cafe that is very clean and works on offering big helpings at good prices – the type of place where if you asked for a skinny latte you’d be thrown out.

But they have Wi-Fi and they they do a good deal on a mug of black coffee and a lump of fruit cake. So business has kept going but the blog has taken a break, but we’ll be able to get some posts done again this week hopefully. So long as the repair has worked!

So watch this space.


Submissive Pride.

This week has been a steady routine type of week, the only difference has been that my work attire for my office is definitely feminine.

I’ve had one Skype meeting and that was simply a case of put on a shirt in the office and stick on a jacket.  the meeting lasted about 40 minutes, job done and then change back.


Having changed back into my blouse and made a coffee I sat at my desk and thought – why do I do this?  Madam isn’t here, I’m not checked on, I’m not really being forced to do this, so why have I done this to myself?

When I finish my house duties in the morning and Madam is off to work, I am pretty much left to my own devices until about 5.30/6pm each day.  It is me that changed into my office attire and I change back out if it just after 4pm.  I could if I wanted just not bother, stick on a  pair of jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt  and slob it.

well before we (Madam and I) agreed to move to skirts as permanent office wear, I would always change into my working cloths – Shirt, smart trousers and shoes with a jacket to hand.  Thinking about it, it was probably professional pride of looking the part.  I’m a Chartered Surveyor and the people I work for want someone that looks and works as a professional.  The other part it allowed me to move from one role to the next, From Domestic servant to Madam to the Technical Consultant and to put my correct “head” on as it were.

So does the new outfit in the office change anything?  No not really – it still puts me in a work/ office mindset and it doesn’t effect how I’m doing things – other than the way I move about the office or how I sit myself down into the chair at the desk.

so why do I do it – It is also that Professional pride part, or rather submissive pride.  Madam would like me to dress this way and I take pride and pleasure from pleasing Madam – even when she isn’t here.  That might be a bit odd or difficult to get your head round if you are not submissive or in a D/s relationship.  but I think that many submissives have little rituals or practices that they do when their Dom isn’t present just because it give the submissive that bit of buzz that they will still serve their Dom, willingly, whether supervised or not.  Is it all part of taking pride in what we do – Serving our Partners to the best that we can?

Well it’s my way of looking at it.


Reality Check and probably a sore bottom!

From Mistress Alice:

Alice in weird land

I’ve just read Billie’s latest entry, explaining what happened at his assessment weekend.

I just need to add a bit of a reality check – our life is not a mad wild constant session of sex and BDSM.  while this is a FLR that we have, for the bulk of the time it is just normal domestic routine. OK I accept most normal relationships don’t have a cuckolded and part feminised husband and a wife with a boyfriend, but it isn’t a complete sex fest.

I’m sure that most of you realise that billie is writing about the highlights and also about his feelings and emotions.  I haven’t set any rules for him other than he, and I can, use the blog to help to think through things that we do and how the FLR does humiliate, frustrate, excite and enhance billie and our relationship.

one of the side effects has already been that it has provided an outlet for both billie and I to explain some of the issues over mental health due to work and the impact on relationships, which has been a very good thing for billie and myself.

And now for the sore bottom part, his portrayal of my friend Carol as the Wicked Witch of the West will get him a few strokes with the crop on Thursday, but actually I think she will be quite pleased with the selected image, but that won’t save billie from his misdemeanour of not checking first.


Assessment Weekend Part 2 – I still hate the cage!

Having calmed down after my panic at the Afternoon Tea service, things settled down to the usual style of routine. I was glad when kerri arrive home from work, she was pretty supportive, she didn’t know the full details other that there would be a mix of guests over for the afternoon. She knew who the male guest was having meet him when Mistress Carol and her had been on several nights out and he was part of the Fetish/ TV scene in London and was part of Mistress Carol’s circle of friends.

I was glad to get the day over with and to get back to the sanctuary of kerri’s little living area.

Please don’t get me wrong Mistress Carol is not mean, nasty or evil, but she does make a point of pushing a submissive’s boundaries and will develop a submissive to get the best and the most out of them. She is also very strong on protecting her submissive (and those in her care) – I’ve seen this when She and Madam has taken Kerri and I to clubs and gatherings.


Friday started with a round of inspections and uniform changes, and then to work around other parts of the house. Kerri had had an easy time over the previous week having been told to deliberately leave certain rooms untidy or undusted. So there was a bit to do and with each room completed would be the inspection with a white cotton glove by Mistress – punishment allocated and delivered and on occasion a bit of praise.

The afternoon saw the arrival of Mistress Carol’s “Gentleman Friend”. This is Master Daniel (Danny), Mistress Carol has always said that she has been too old to have a boyfriend and Danny is too old to be a boyfriend ( he is the same age as Mistress Carol). Mistress Carol and Master Daniel have been together for years, having known each other from the Fetish scene.

With Master having arrived I pretty knew what would be happening that afternoon. My oral skills on Master would be put to the test. There would be a lot of verbal humiliation from both Mistress and Master and the aim would be try and put me off my stride (or stroke depending on your point of view?). I was also at this point expecting to be used anally, in the past this has been by Mistress with a strap on and also sometimes by Master. By 2pm I was on my knees in Mistress’s Bedroom with Master Daniel’s cock in my mouth and being directed to give a long slow BJ.

It is hard to explain – yes this is humiliating but I also get turned on by it, I’m still trying to get put my finger on what it is, giving Master Daniel a Blow Job is different from orally serving Master John. With Master John it is the element of offering my subservience to the Man that Cuckolds me and the emasculation element that comes with that, with Master Daniel and Mistress Carol it is more of the submission and being a submissive. Even after all this time it still makes me wonder what the whole reason is for the difference in the emotions are.


At this point in time I am on my knees in basque, stockings and heels, the maids dress having been removed when I arrived at the bedroom. I have fluffed Master to erection and at this part I expect either to be used by Mistress or to be told to get on the bed for Master or even to get back while Master and Mistress have sex and I provide a clean-up service to both, but this time I continue with oral until Master final cums in my mouth. Mistress tells me to swallow and I have to show my empty mouth.

Mistress took and collar and lead from a bedside drawer and it is fitted to my neck. I’m told to stand and follow Mistress (not that I have a choice as the lead tugs me onward). I have no idea what is about to happen as this is different from previous years. Mistress leads me through the house and we go to her “playroom”, this is a room that is set up for her domination work and play. I am fitted with wrist and ankle cuffs and then something different I’m fitted with some earphones- the little ear bud type – and then pulled over to the dog cage in the corner. I hate the fucking dog cage – sorry, just had to say that it was used quite a bit during my training but that isn’t why I hate it.

Madam saw how the cage could be used during my training and as such she saw Mistress Carol use it for training and punishment . The one that Mistress Carol has is a narrow cage and it means that the submissive must stay on their hands and knees when in the cage, there is no space to move too much and there is certainly no lying down. It is the type of cage that is for an individual dog and often seen in the back of a car or van for keeping working dogs separate.

As I said Madam saw how it was used and she go one for my continued training and we have it set up in the Attic of the house, the difference is that we have a second cage which is larger and while you can’t stand up you can lie down, Madam got this larger cage when she started to see her Boyfriend George. While he understood that there was a FLR between Madam and me he made it clear that he didn’t want my involvement in his relationship with Madam. Initially Madam would go over and stay at his place but she wanted to bring him to our home, so that the cuckolding in the marital bed could occur and to add to that aspect of our relationship.

While George was happy to do that he was uncomfortable with me being in the house or have the possibility of having me walk in on Madam and him in mid flow. So he had suggested that I would go out for the evening or that I go to a hotel/ B&B. Madam wasn’t happy with that and said that I could be confined to my “maid’s quarters”. It was Madam’s hope that she could convince him that I could be brought into the relationship.
As it turned out it didn’t happen, but as a compromise Madam suggested that if I was placed in a cage and locked in then there would be no chance of my wandering around the house and disturbing the two of them – so the bigger cage appeared, with the large dog bed added and it’s water feeder. Over the period of their relationship I spend quite a bit of time in that cage. Madam did cheat slightly as she would come to check on me frequently to let me out for a stretch and toilet break as well as to orally worship her well used pussy – thank you Ma’am – but it would be back in the cage until he left. So hence I’m not keen on being in the cages.

Mistress Carol’s cage is defiantly for training of submissives, she opened the big door at the end of it and made me kneel down facing away from the door and a leather hood was fitted to my head and tightened up, the next thing was I felt my arse having some cream or KY added and what I thought was a butt plug eased in, as it turned out it was an anal hook and a with a length of rope attached to the end as the next I knew was that my head was tilted back while Mistress Carol tied the rope to one of the metal loops on the hood. My head wasn’t forced back it was just to the “look up position” if I could see but I couldn’t.


I was told to back into the cage, now when you have an anal hook in your bottom any movement becomes a very careful operation as any movement will shift the position of the hook in back passage and that can be both pleasure and uncomfortable. Big movements are bloody painful! Once I was in my hands and ankles cuffs were secured to the side of the cage and the collar was connected to the top of the cage, I was now pretty much immobile in the cage.

I could feel Mistress fiddle with the hood and the leather strap that covered the mouth opening was removed and I heard the door of the cage shut and get locked. Mistress told me to open my mouth and I knew what this was a dildo and was pushed through an opening in the bars and my mouth was now filled with false cock. Things had not finished yet for me.

The cage has a small hatch at the back and the side – when I’ve been in here before Mistress has opened them and applied clothes peg and nipple clamps. This time something was being stuck to my backside and between my asshole and balls. I heard the hatch close and then Mistress Carol doing “stuff” off to the side.

The next thing I heard was Mistress saying “Right then billie that is you ready, enjoy the afternoon, kerri will let you out later.” And then the ear buds sparked into life.

It was Mistress Alice’s voice and she told me that I should relax and settle down as she and Mistress Carol would entertain me for the afternoon, there was no hint how long this would last. At this point I got a jolt, I clearly had been fitted with some electrics (I later found out that it was a tens unit with adhesive pads fitted to me).

I had no idea what the time was, sometime mid-afternoon was my best guess but I knew that kerri wouldn’t be back until 5.30 at the earliest.

While the tens unit wasn’t set high each buzz/ jolt/ shock made me move and that in turn made the anal hook move in my arse and with its ball putting pressure on my prostrate It added to my frustration. Combine this with my Mistresses talking to me in my ears, my mouth full of cock and then when I wasn’t hearing my Mistress’s voices they had recorded themselves having sex.

This was just a total torment, my cock is caged but I’m being aroused by the audio. My prostrate is being stimulated and I knew I was dripping cum but there is no relief. The irregular shock pattern also meant that I can’t prevent movement and it just adds and adds. Being blind means that all the other senses become more alert and with the audio you go into your own world and it does make you focus on what you can hear. Don’t worry this isn’t hypnosis or such like, this is about creating focused frustration.

There is a whole range of emotions and feelings that come from a session like this in the cage. Did I hate it – I don’t like being in the cage but that isn’t due to anything that Madam or Mistress have done, and it isn’t due to the training or punishments, it is due to the forced periods of isolation from my Mistress.

The sexual torment and frustration I strangely enjoyed, the fact that I can’t orgasm but my frustration forced movements cause me to milk me of my cum (mmnn is that a good thing? Is this the kinky part of me getting my kicks from the cuckolding and the humiliations?) All I know is that when kerri released me at about 6pm there was a puddle of my sissy cum on the rubber mat on the floor of the cage. Guess how I had to clean that up? I was glad to see her and so glad when she helped me to tidy myself up afterwards.

That was fairly intense as a training session (it wasn’t a punishment session) and would I want to do it again? Probably? Am I mad for enjoying the frustration – definitely! Boy does it play with your senses.

It does show that Mistress Carol is the master of her craft! Thank you Ma’am.


Quality Family Time

From Mistress Alice

Alice in weird land

Good Morning, billie is down making breakfast and John is in the shower, so I thought I would do a short blog entry for billie.

Mick/billie added a entry earlier this week about his visit to London, That night when I got home and didn’t find him waiting to greet me had me a little concerned but he phoned almost as started to look for him.

Anyone who has a partner, friend or family member who has fought the “black dog” will know that when they start to or are agitated there are slight changes in the voice and the behaviours – to the outsiders they often don’t notice, but Mick’s voice had that edge of hardness too it that I can recognise.


He told me of his day and that he needed space to get a grip on his problem before he came home he didn’t want to come back with his anger still running.

The one thing that I have learned is that when someone is in that state of mind, they really don’t need to be alone, they will internalise the problem, they will be self critical and they will wind themselves up and it will often add to the problem.

So what Mick needed was to be with someone that cares and to help him settle down, he needed to be with his Wife and his Mistress – (Yes both in equal measure) so that we could chat to him, let him talk and talk to him.  We needed to hold him and make sure that he felt and knew that he was safe and secure.

So a couple of hours later my husband arrived home, I hugged him and kissed him as a wife and husband do (well the way that we do anyway) and I took him through to the lounge and we sat, chatted, cuddled and eventually I had my husband back.

I took him upto my bed, I wanted him with me and it was me that cuddled into him that night.  Why? he needed to be reassured that he wasn’t alone and that I’m there to support him and to love him.  When his emotions are shot to bits and all over the place it helps when someone close to him helps to gather all of those bits back up and holds them tightly together to bind them back into place – a special cuddle can do that.

this all sound a bit soft and soppy, and some might say that it doesn’t demonstrate a FLR , well it does, we have a FEMALE LEAD relationship and that means I have an important role in looking after my male, and without him I wouldn’t have anyone to lead.


If anyone is interested the Dancing with the Black Dog website is shown below and it is a pretty good site, with some useful stuff.  Both Mick and I like the site, give it a visit if you or friends have demons to fight and a black dog wandering in and out of your lives.



I’ll finish here, as I can smell bacon so breakfast must be nearly ready, have a good day and tell some one that is special to you that you love them – it will make them smile!


Assessment Weekend – Part 1

I wasn’t looking forward to my Assessment down at Mistress Carol’s – I never do.  As Mick, I like Carol and Kerri/ Kevin a lot, as billie I have a very, very, healthy respect for Mistress Carol and billie is “very” fond of kerri.

So it was with quite a bit of trepidation that I got ready to leave on the Wednesday Morning.  Mistress Carol doesn’t allow sissies to be in the house in male attire and directed in her “invite” that I was to travel to her en-fem.

Now I just want to explain a little about me, and this also has relevance for what happened at the Hotel on the Saturday – I don’t look female, feminine or girly, it takes a lot of effort and work to get me to 75% passible but that last 25% aint happening – I’m 5’6” tall, 42” chest with short legs but big calves.  (I spent my early working life on Building sites and also doing a good bit of cross country running in my spare time as a hobby), my body type falls in the category of “Stocky” not dainty.

So I can get so far, I’ve dressed with stockings, matching suspender belt, knickers and bra.  A set of foam breast forms, and 3” heels, a white blouse and blue pencil skirt.  I have 2 wigs, both cheap and cheerful – a short black bob and a slightly longer brown thing – I chose the longer one as it would hide more of my face and head on the journey.

Normally my makeup is nil to basic, Madam wants it to be clear that I am a submissive male in female apparel but for this trip and stay there is more required.  I can do a bit of make up but there is a fine line with not trying to look like an “Aunt Sally”, for the youngsters out there search for “Wurzle Gummage”.

aunt sally

Madam helped me with the finer points and once she was happy I was given a peck on the cheek and told “Make me proud of my sissy.” And with that I was walked to my car and sent on my way.

The journey went rather well, traffic wasn’t too bad and there didn’t appear to be anyone pointing or laughing (as far as I was aware) as they went past me buzzing along in my car. 

I started to get a bit of butterflies as I dropped onto the M4 for the short section on the Motorway, I was nearly there.  I know what’s coming; I have done this twice a year for about 12 years.  I will be Mistress Carol’s property and slave for the next 3 days, I will be worked (I don’t mind that) I will be used (that can be fun – sometimes), punished (not fun) and humiliated (very uncomfortable).  The difference is that no two visits/ assessments are the same, there are always new trials and tests, the punishments change and the humiliations are designed to get a reaction. 

I know that there will not be any harm to me (well my arse will recover from the punishments) and the humiliations will be in a controlled and safe environment  but it still comes with nervousness for the unknown and no small amount of fear.

Once I arrive I am met at the front door by Mistress Carol and invited in.  kerri is at work and I sit with Mistress in the lounge and we have a chat. 

“How was the drive?”

“How is Alice?”

“how are things with work” etc and then we get to the main part:

“How are you? Physically? Mentally?”, Mistress Carol is very aware to how our FLR started and also with my Mental Health, she knows that the FLR is part of what helps me to control what was my problem and it is that expertise from her having been a Professional Dominatrix and on the D/s scene that she understands that it is important to know where the submissive’s head/ mind is prior to starting the session. 

Please just bear this in mind Mistress Carol is a friend to Madam and billie and to Alice and Mick. While she can scare the hell out of billie at times, she also cares for her friend’s submissive as well. So she needs to know what the baseline state is before she starts the “session”, it allows her to adjust her plans to ensure that it is just right for the Mistress and the submissive.  

Once she is happy I’m dismissed to get my bags from the car and get ready.  I will be staying in kerri’s room which is in the little “granny flat” above the garage.  This is good as it means that I’m not having to stay in the “play room”, I’m with kerri, but we will be sharing a bed – this isn’t a bad thing but it is a bed that is ¾ size of a double, which 2 people can sleep in but you are very close together and when you are both caged in chastity and you both like each other that is bloody frustrating!

My first day involved domestic duties, kitchen service and several inspections of uniform at random times.  This involved me in my working maids uniform  and Mistress is always ready with her snap inspections –  the only difference is that Mistress Carol issues punishment at the time, as well as noting some punishments for later in the day – by 6pm when kerri arrived home from work my arse had already been “warmed” several times and I had renewed my dislike of Mistress’s hair brush. 

After a quick cuddle from kerri I was ordered to change into my dress uniform and then to Mistress’s bedroom where I was tested on my personal service. 


I really enjoy orally serving Madam and I hoped to please Mistress Carol.  My service to her lasted about an hour and I she seemed pleased,  Mistress’s only point and it cost me several marks with the riding crop was that I still did not have a tongue piercing – it is a “failing on my part” every year as Mistress Carol would like Madam to have me pierced in several places, she now feels that it should be me that begs Madam to have her submissive’s body added to with several piercings.  Madam is, at the moment, content that I do not required any added jewellery (thankfully).


The rest of the evening is spent helping kerri as a maid for Mistress – cooking, serving dinner, cleaning up and then being on call for Mistress.  I am dismissed at 9.30pm and go to kerri’s room to get ready for the following day and to go to bed. At about 11.30 I was joined by kerri in bed and spend a lovely but frustrating evening cuddling with my sissy friend and then to sleep.

Thursday started with much of the same as the Wednesday, inspections, domestic work, change outfits, inspections etc but at lunch I was informed that Mistress would have be having guests later this afternoon for tea, I should change into my formal maid outfit (the new dress,) and be prepared to serve tea but I should also have several bottles of wine in to chill.

At about 3pm I was in full sissy French maid outfit, with its short skirt, exposed stocking tops and 4½ heels.  The door bell went and I knew that this was the start of it (well if it wasn’t then the post man would be in for a surprise). I welcomed 3 guests to Mistress’s home, 2 ladies and 1 gentleman, I recognised the ladies, having encountered them on previous visits but the gentleman was unknown to me.  The ladies were from the D/s scene and definitely Mistresses, while the man was not imposing as you would expect from a Dom, he seemed slightly out of place but didn’t seem bothered by the sissy French maid that answered the door and showed him into the lounge.

I served tea to the Mistresses and their male guest and was sent to the corner (facing the wall) while they chatted about quite a few different things and about me at time.  I was brought back into service and sent for wine.  Once everyone  had a glass is was told to wait by the end of the couch next to the gentleman.  As the conversation continue I suddenly felt a hand on the back of my leg, I slightly flinched with surprise (that cost me 3 with the crop later that evening) but the hand stayed there and then started to gently rub up and down my leg and stockings. I stayed in position as I was being touched up while everyone just had a general conversation.


The conversation then got round to me, the new maid, at this point the guest had his hand fully under my skirt and was running his hand over my knickers and arse.

“Is this your’s and Danny’s new toy?  You haven’t gotten rid of kerri have you?”

“Is it broken in?”

“Whats its oral skills like?”

Yes this is the first humiliation task, I’m an “it”, I’m the sissy slave, I’m being discussed as if I’m not in the room while at the same time being touched up and fondled, all from the casual comfort of the couch.

The worry that I had was that I don’t know who this guy is and it almost seems that he is about to ask Mistress to have “it” serve him personally.  I must have looked worried as he started to ask if he and his boyfriend could borrow me for an evening – if I didn’t look worried I was certainly was inside – as it almost sounded like Mistress Carol was seriously considering his request!  I was told to go and get another bottle of wine and freed myself from the roving hand and almost ran to the kitchen to get the bottle.  I came back to the room to catch the end of the conversation that effectively had Mistress agree that I could be “Borrowed” for the evening.

I was mortified, this was not what I expected and it certainly wasn’t in the limits that were agreed between all of us (Madam, Mistress, Master, Danny, Kerri and me).  I didn’t know what to do, should I comply, should I use the safe word – in all the time of our FLR I have never had to use the safe word. 

My face must have been a picture of emotional panic as the Mistresses all burst out laughing.  Mistress Carol told me to put the wine down and told me to kneel and calm down.  No I wasn’t going to be “loaned out”, they wanted to see what my reaction would be to come back to a dilemma such as this.  To see my humiliations and discomfort.  Mistress rightly saw the panic and called a halt to the session ( the original plan was to get me as far as the gentleman’s car before calling me back).  Mistress called me forward and kissed my forehead and told me not to worry my task was over and our limits would not be broken, no matter what.  I think I was close to tears of relief!


Mistress Carol always finds innovative ways to create conflicts with emotions and can play them to perfection, her experience of the scene and with submissives means that she is the master/ mistress of her craft.

That evening it was a very grateful submissive that provided Mistress with personal service.  I still had my safe word and I was glad that Mistress knew how to read me.

I’ll stop here and Finish in another post later. (you can probably see why I have trepidation and a bit of fear of my assessment visits).


Read the Large Print before the small print (and don’t be a Dick!)

Last Thursday was an interesting day, I had an early start into London for a meeting with a client, the plan was in for a 2 hour meeting and then be back home by 1pm.

The client is a department head of large financial company that has been getting some construction work done by a small construction company. The work isn’t difficult and they has used a standard industry contract.

The difficultly has come from the fact that the client has asked for additional work and the contractor has been fine with that but he would like paying for the extra work – which seems fair.

My client (the client) brought me in because he didn’t trust his contracting team – the problem is that this individual that heads up the contract depart is used to being in the Finance world and firmly believes that if you have the money you have the power – Arsehole!

I was asked to provide a report and recommendations, and the recommendation was “pay the contractor”. This apparently agreed with the contract team’s advice but the Client was kind of pissed off that everyone was giving him “good” advice but it wasn’t what he wanted.

Having spoken to the in house contract team the Client is one of these “Hard Nosed Don’t Fuck With Me” types who has become used to getting his own way when it comes to setting contracts for financial services. It’s a big company and they are probably used to getting their own way.

The problem is that they don’t do construction and they have used a normal construction contract and this “Hard Nosed” Dick doesn’t realise that while he carries a big stick in his contracting pond, the building contractor doesn’t give a fuck who he is, he just wants his money for his work. And the client thinks that he can flex his muscles in an area that he knows very little about.


So what is the point of this ramble – The client mistook the builder’s willingness to take on work and can do attitude as a weakness and submission to the bigger Organisation with all of it’s power and money. Clearly the client has no idea of how relationships in contracts and the D/s world work. The Dominant doesn’t always carry all of the power and at times the submissive holds the cards.

It was a bit of a shock for this Arsehole – he wasn’t the top dog, he was just a Bully and I don’t like bullies, and his poor attitude cost his company quite a bit of money.

So having put this Dick right about the realities of the Construction world, and after he tried to bully me into changing my report – at this point my inner “Arsehole Alpha” Contracts Manager came to the fore and we had a rather heated discussion which was pretty much a one way conversation which slightly shocked this idiot.


The end result was that the client had to bring in his boss and the realities were explained, the client looked a bit shame faced and is now probably working in the company’s call centre in Mumbai (oh I do hope so!) – all for the sake of a few thousand pounds, it had cost them just as much for my work.


At this point my 2 hour meeting has lasted all day, and the Arsehole Mick has been unleashed and was back on form. I called Alice and explained what had happened. Just listening to her voice started to settle me down, I didn’t want to go home at that point, I was going to get a room at a Travelodge for the evening and let myself calm down and let the calm Mick take over so that I could get home and keep the Arsehole away from the peace of the house.

With a quiet voice, Alice simply said “Come home, I’ll have a glass of wine ready for you, you’ll be fine….” And with that the Arsehole turned and went back into his box, by the time I got home Alice was waiting and we made sure that her Mick was back where he needed to be. I’m so lucky to have a fantastically wonderful wife and a very understanding Mistress (but I still don’t like or tolerate bullies!)


Uniforms and Work Wear – The new office attire.

With Madam and Sir having seen my new maids uniform they intended to see what I had purchased as an occasional working outfit for the office. Madam had directed me to update my outfit and to be honest I had expected this to happen some time ago.

Madam and I had spoken about it on a number of occasions, for each day I was away in male clothes I would do 5 days in a skirt in the office. My usual dress is shirt, tie and a pair of trousers – normally something like Chinos in the summer and moleskins in the winter – with appropriate sissy underwear. I usually have a jacket in the office incase I have to have a Skype meeting/ conference call.

The 5 day rule was introduced years ago by Madam as a way of minimising my time back in the world that caused my health issues, and to be honest it has worked. Things have changed where as in the past there was always that risk of being dragged back into the contracting world, I’m now very comfortable doing the remote consulting work with the very occasional foray out into the construction/ contracting world. It really isn’t a place that I want to go back to.

I spend a good part of the working day in my office, I have control over how much or how little I do, and for the last few years I have been lucky that I’ve had work that had been easy to manage and to fit into our/ my timetable. There had been a few jobs where I’ve had to do some late nights or extra work but they have been very special cases.

The house that we live in is a Late Victorian/ Edwardian house that used to be an Estate Managers house, we are set back from the road and our nearest neighbour is about half a mile away and is the farmer that we bought the house from. The House has a 8’ high walled garden, and there were a number of out buildings set into the wall of the garden – a pantry/store and outside toilet, these connect to the house and we converted them to the maids room with its own shower and toilet, the exterior doors blocked up and these now connect directly into the house via the utility room (where else would a maid have her accommodation?). The other building must have been a Garden store cum shed originally, while not big in size on the other side of the wall the farmer at some point had built a blockwork lean-to against the wall.

I had the lean-to closed in to create a building and then knocked through the wall to join the two buildings to create my office, what it means is that I can leave the house via the kitchen and walk to the office in the privacy of the garden and any visitors that I have can enter via a door in the “outer office” (the old lean-to part), not that I get many business visitors.

So why is all this relevant? Madam quite rightly identified that I move from the house to office via the garden, it isn’t overlooked and as I’m comfortable putting the washing out in my working uniform or serving Madam and Master in my maids outfit when the English Weather permits them to sit out in the garden, then there is no issue with me going to work in a skirt – there hasn’t been in the past.

The skirt that I had been wearing for my 5 day blocks had been a knee length pencil skirt, along with a black nylon underskirt/ slip, but this was combined with my normal male shirt and tie. Madam suggested that I should look at another outfit for the office and perhaps replacing my shirts with a blouse or female tailored shirt.

I thought that I should perhaps look at the whole outfit and so set about putting together an appropriate look that Madam would approve of for me to wear – bearing in mind that it would need to tick the boxes of humiliation and to be completely different from my normal male attire.

So on Saturday afternoon I presented myself to Sir and Madam in each outfit for their review and comment.

The first outfit was to make use of the pencil skirt, so I found a sheer white blouse on Amazon with a pussy bow (my knowledge on blouses was not that in-depth at this point so I had to check what it was and then when it arrived did I have to tie it in a certain way! Every day is a school day as Madam often says.) I then added the accessories, as I’ve learned with helping Madam get ready for work – the belt and the necklace or in this case a choker. The choker was a problem as women only have slender necks (apparently) so I could only get a 15” choker but luckily I found that Marks and Spencer do extension links, so we now have a choker that fits my 16½” neck.

The basque provided the foundation and the Charnos 24/7 stockings are my choice for black working stockings.


Madam has regularly made me wear heels in the office and to be honest they have become second nature – I don’t have to be told any more I just do it – I’m wearing heels in the house anyway. My office heels are a set of black courts with a 3” heel – all very smart and they go with the skirt – Ooh! check me out coordinating my outfits!

The second outfit was a little bit more “risqué”, and to be honest I wasn’t sure what Madam and Sir would think but the response was pretty positive with a suggestion to change one item.

The outfit used the basque, stockings, choker and belt but had a loose mid thigh skirt (Madam called it a skater skirt) and a black sheer top with a fitted choker neck. The stocking tops are visible and it is defiantly the office slut appearance.

The only comment that came from Madam was that my court shoes were a “little understated” for the outfit and that I should pair the outfit with the black platform stilettoes that I have (5½” heels).

Madam and Sir were more than happy with my choices and there was a definitely quite a few comments about how they suited a submissive sissy such as me, yes it was red face time again.

As I was about to be dismissed, Madam made the suggestion to perhaps take a couple of photos for the blog – No faces, neutral background, so that the outfits could be shown to those interested, she did comment to Sir that I had received a complement about my legs but I had to be honest that the images were not of me – “perhaps you should let your admirer see what type of legs my sissy husband actually has hiding in his stockings” (another redfaced moment!).

So I’ve attached a few of me in my outfits as directed by Madam and for the benefit of the Blogger “Sex Line Stories” – these are my real legs!

Once we had finished taking the photo Madam passed the camera to me and told me to put my things away and then then report back to the lounge.

I presented myself to Madam and Sir, still in the pencil skirt outfit, and was directed to stand infront of them.

“billie, John and I have been thinking and we think that Mick does need some help in the office during the week. Having seen your outfits we think that you could be suitable for the role as secretary for him and to manage the office for him” (I had sort of seen this coming after Madam had joked about it when we were on holiday)

“however Mick doesn’t want just any bimbo slut working for him, you will need to have the right skills and as such I have found a website that will test your typing skills, it’s particularly suited for a sissy like you – we’ll discuss what standard you are to achieve next week but you will have a fortnight to come upto the standard”.

“Also once you have reached that standard you will need to be interviewed for the job, obviously Mick can’t do that so John had kindly offered to do the interview one evening at his office, to confirm your suitability to be a PA and Secretary to my husband’s company” and with that they both had a chuckle – and those two developments I did not see coming! Bugger!

So it looks like the skirt is now to become a permanent feature of office wear.

A Quiet Night In

Master came over on Friday night, arriving about 7.30pm, Madam was already waiting in the lounge with a glass of wine. Having heard the control activate for the gates (Master’s car has one of the openers) I went to the front door to greet him. I opened the front door and formally welcomed him to Madam’s home, as he entered and he got a first look at the new uniform.

“Very nice billie, showing a bit of leg and stocking top”, I thanked Sir and showed him into where Madam was and then brought him a glass of wine, he had settled down with Madam on the Couch.

Before I was allowed to leave Madam had me stand before her and Master and they had me explain what had gone into the uniform. A new dress and apron, existing underskirt, new suede stiletto heels (4½” heels), a set of lace wristlets, the new basque and black sheer frilled panties and some stockings. Master directed that I raise my skirt at the front so that he could see my chastity through the panties.


“So billie, how does all of this make you feel?” As a sissy maid?”

I’m not allowed to have direct eye contact with Sir or Madam, so while looking at Sir’s feet, “submissive Sir”,

“I’m sure that you can do better than that billie?”

“subservient and submissive Sir”

“Good, that is how it should be”

This was Master setting the tone for the weekend. This is a common factor that does happen normally within the first 10-15 minutes of his arrival. It can take many forms from a verbal discussion similar to this, it could be verbal humiliation – “What sort of husband are you billie? Dressing up as a sissy….etc” or it could require a physical act of submission such as kneeling and kissing of feet, a formal uniform inspection or even kneeling before Master and orally worshiping him infront of Madam.

All of these methods are there to set the tone and conditions that Master is now in the house and that I am the Beta male, the submissive sissy, to both him and Madam (always remembering that Madam has primacy).

I was dismissed back to my duties (putting Masters bag up in Madam’s room and then getting on with dinner).

Madam and Master, were not going out over the weekend, having just been away they had planned to have a quiet weekend at home. I served Dinner in the Dining Room (our lounge connects directly to what was dining room, so it is a long room that runs front to back, we have a dining table for 6 people at the bottom of the room and that is the “Dining Room”) for both of them, when they finished they then went back to the couches in the lounge to watch some TV. I tidied up and cleared the kitchen. Having checked that Madam and Master were OK for drinks, I retired to the kitchen to eat.


When I am billie I am not allowed to sit on the furniture of the house, I have been provided with a small folding table and a folding chair and these are used for me to eat from and to use for writing my lines and any tasks/ assignments that I am given. I have these set up in the utility room that links the kitchen to my maids quarters. When not in use I am required to fold them up and place them back into my maids room.

At 1030pm I was called for by Madam, and when I entered the lounge (a curtsey on entry) to find that Madam and Sir were enjoying themselves. I was directed to go and turn the bed down and to wait in “the corner”.


In Mistress’s Bedroom, there is a corner nominated where I must stand, I must face the wall and be as close enough so that my toes of my shoes just touch the skirting board. I must not look away from the wall no matter what is going on behind me. Being put the corner could be a short time position, I’m just put there so that I’m not in the way while I wait for my next duty or I could be there for some time (my longest has been 3 hours – my calves where in agony)

Corner time can be used as a punishment or sometimes for frustrating arousal. You are in a room facing the wall with your sissy bits in a chastity listening to your Mistress/wife being made love to/ having sex with her boyfriend, your Master. It is very humiliating and arousing, it heightens your senses and your hearing becomes very sensitive. Madam and Sir entered the room, I was ignored and could hear clothes being removed.

“sissy get over here and remove your wife’s panties!” This is another part of the setting the conditions of the Alpha and the beta male. I will kneel in front Madam , while Sir stands next to her and then slowly lower her knickers. This is both humiliating and frustratingly arousing. Madam always perfumes her knickers and always wears stockings. She know that these are two of my biggest turn ons and she know how it will affect me.

“Is your wife wet for me?”

I’m not allowed to use my fingers for this, I must use my tongue only, and invariably Madam is aroused. If Madam pulls my head in towards her and holds my head then I will continue to lick. If not then I finish my initial licks and answer to Master. Fortunately Madam held my head and I had the privilege to orally worship her for a short few moments.


“That’s enough dear, John wants a bit of attention as well.” Master had removed his pants and I am faced with his cock. It is my task to fluff Master so that he is ready for Madam. Now, in reality there is no need for this as Master is very much erect and again this is simply an exercise in my emasculation and humiliation, I will show my Mistress and Master that I am subservient to them.


Again, as with Madam, I am not allowed to use my hands I must kiss the tip of Master’s cock and then start to lick the shaft before taking it into my mouth. As is often the case I work under the guidance of my dominants, in this case Madam provided the instruction and direction and it was her hand that went to the back of my head to provide the physical encouragement. I don’t know how long I did it for but Mistress provided my encouragement until Master said enough.

I was dismissed as Madam and Sir moved to the bed to start their evening of lovemaking.
“Bring some wine up in an hour, we’ll have some cleaning for you to…” and with that I was dismissed.

(So why do you do it you fucking wimp?- I do it because I love my wife and I do it because it is what she wants, my submission is a massive turn on for her and for me, yes it is humiliating, yes I feel emasculated but it is also an enormous buzz and turn on both sexually and psychologically – it is part of the D/s minds set being submissive and willing to serve. It is difficult to describe, there is a whole raft of emotions that go with it. I know for some people they will not get it, that’s fine, others will think that this is a bit extreme and others not extreme enough. This is a kink and it plays with the emotions and for Madam and me it works and that is all that is needed. It provides sexual enjoyment, stress relief through the submitting and serving (for me) and the stress relief for Madam through being able to dominate her partner. This works on so many levels it is difficult to quantify but for both of us it makes our life good and our relationship stronger and that is what is important. I’m sure that I will write about it more in the future.)

Thursday Night – Discipline Review, Punishments and Discussion.

We are now back into our normal routine after a busy month of holidays, family visits and the August Bank Holidays and the trials and tribulations that it held for me.
So, as per our schedule, Thursday night is Punishment Night. Madam came home and relaxed in the lounge with a glass of wine as I put the final touches to her dinner. I served her meal and afterwards she went to her Study. I cleared everything away, tidied the dining table and the kitchen and then went and changed my uniform ready for 8pm.

I changed into my new maids uniform as Madam had not seen it. It had arrived on the Tuesday last week and I had just enough time to get it checked over and tried on for size, Ironed and into the suit carrier ready to leave the following morning for my assessment. (Tuesday evening was busy with Ironing and packing both my items and Madam’s clothes for her long weekend away with Master.)

The dress was bought via Ebay, from a woman that makes them to order, we have had items from her before (sissy knickers and chastity pouches) and they have been very good. The dress is black satin with white lace edging (yes very traditional I know) with a white apron . the dress comes with 2 sets of loops on the back one at the neck and one at the waist should there be a need to pad lock the dress on. I didn’t order a new net under skirt as the ones that I have are still OK.

I put on my new Basque, and a pair of sheer nylon panties with ruffles on them (from the same company that did the basque) plain top deep welt stockings and a new pair of black heels (I pushed the boat out – both to please Madam but also to ensure that I would pass my inspections on my assessment). With the dress on and the underskirt the skirt element sticks out and my stocking tops are visible. I collected my little note book and went to wait for 8pm to present myself to Madam.


Madam was surprised and seemed very pleased with my outfit. I had to turn around slowly several times and Madam got up to have a closer look. She liked the whole arrangement and commented that Master would probably enjoy seeing me in it tomorrow night when he arrived.


I was directed to sit and the discipline review started. My report from Mistress Carol was read to me and while I had passed there was a few points that would need to be worked on. Mistress Carol’s comments about my lack of piercings, and ownership marks (tattoo) were noted but Madam confirmed that she would not be looking to change the current situation. Madam also confirmed that she would continue with the policy of limited body hair removal, she still wanted me to have the humiliation of being a submissive male required to wear sissy outfits rather that to be a crossdresser trying to give the impression of being female.

I was commended for passing the assessment and also for my performance at the hotel at the end of the weekend. My failings were small and minor and as such I was allocated 2 lots of 10 paddle punishments and 10 hand spanks to my backside.

Madam then discussed the blog and she had stated how everyone seemed to enjoy reading it. Master reads it and likes to check what has been put up, Madam stated that Master will not be contributing to it but he may be “suggesting” topics for me to explain and publish on it. Madam also expressed her surprise that she enjoyed adding to the content (we originally planned that Madam would only contribute very occasionally and normally to just correct or clarify a point or issue) and as such she will continue to add content as she see’s fit.

Madam stated that she has discussed with Master and Mistress Carol about putting on the details of the Assessment Weekend and also the visit to the hotel, and all have agreed that I should write about each of the events. Madam wants me to provide enough detail for people to know what happened and where and how I was humiliated, where I was aroused, punished and also used as a submissive sissy but without it becoming too smutty (if it is too smutty she see it potentially undermining a blog that has been useful to explain our lifestyle and life choices) – make it interesting was the phrase she used. I was told to work on it from Monday next week and publish it each evening.

Madam asked me about my other purchases – my office outfit, I said that it had arrived and that it had all fitted. She seemed very pleased and then told me that on Saturday Afternoon I would be required to give a formal showing to her and Master of the outfit, I pointed out that in reality I now had 2 outfits for the office, based on where I originally had to wear a skirt and now the new outfit. I would model both outfits on Saturday and I would get feedback from Madam and Master on what they thought. If they were not up to scratch then there would be entries in the disciple book and I would have to make changes. I think I will be OK, (fingers crossed and touching wood etc…)

With that I was ordered to stand up and position myself over the chair for my correction of misdemeanours.


It looks like I will have a busy week of writing next week and I will also let you know how I get on with Saturday. I’ll now get back to the work I have in the office before going and getting prepared for Madam coming back from work and then Master arriving for the weekend.